Coffee
Original: Coffee on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man at office water cooler (holding a cup): Until I've had my coffee, I'm just not me.
Second man (in a tie, at right): Go right ahead, Ted.
Panel 2:
Ted (now with a large mustache, looking grumpy): Without coffee, I am grumpy.
Panel 3:
Ted (thought/explanation, smiling slightly): Without coffee, I cannot keep the unspeakable attractions to cephalopods at bay.
Panel 4:
Second man (at right): Yeesh, gotta have that java.
Ted (at the water cooler/coffee machine): Gotta have it.
Votey:
Ted (extreme close-up of his smiling face): So grumpy about my cephalopod fetish.
Man at office water cooler (holding a cup): Until I've had my coffee, I'm just not me.
Second man (in a tie, at right): Go right ahead, Ted.
Panel 2:
Ted (now with a large mustache, looking grumpy): Without coffee, I am grumpy.
Panel 3:
Ted (thought/explanation, smiling slightly): Without coffee, I cannot keep the unspeakable attractions to cephalopods at bay.
Panel 4:
Second man (at right): Yeesh, gotta have that java.
Ted (at the water cooler/coffee machine): Gotta have it.
Votey:
Ted (extreme close-up of his smiling face): So grumpy about my cephalopod fetish.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A man holding a cup stands by an office water cooler and says "Until I've had my coffee, I'm just not me." A coworker in a tie replies, "Go right ahead, Ted." Panel 2: A close-up of Ted, now sporting a thick mustache and a grumpy expression: "Without coffee, I am grumpy." Panel 3: Ted, looking slightly pleased, explains: "Without coffee, I cannot keep the unspeakable attractions to cephalopods at bay." Panel 4: The coworker says "Yeesh, gotta have that java," politely glossing over the disturbing admission, while Ted at the coffee machine agrees, "Gotta have it." The joke is that "I'm not myself without coffee" hides a far weirder confession about a cephalopod fetish, which the coworker awkwardly ignores. Votey: An extreme close-up of Ted's smiling face with the caption "So grumpy about my cephalopod fetish."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.