applied
Original: applied on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A man with flame-like (spiky) hair stands at a lectern addressing a seated audience.
Flame-haired speaker: "And so we can input these old proofs into solvers. Which the neural network then uses as training fodder."
Panel 2 (a person in the audience reacts):
Audience member: "Hey!"
Panel 3:
Flame-haired speaker: "This is a pure mathematics conference. No applied math allowed!"
Panel 4:
Audience member (standing, defiant): "Well well well. Don't you see, you fools?"
Panel 5:
Audience member: "With the advent of neural networks, EVERYTHING is potential training data, especially clean, abstract mathematical proofs!"
Panel 6:
Flame-haired speaker: "But... but that means--"
Panel 7:
Audience member: "That pure mathematics will be... APPLIED! ALL OF IT!"
Panel 8:
Members of the audience cry out in horror:
Audience: "YOU ARE ALL APPLIED MATHEMATICIANS NOW! ALL OF YOUR DREAMS ARE DEAD AND NOW ON OUR SIDE!"
Panel 9:
A voice (the audience member, triumphant): "Thank you for your contribution to human knowledge... AHAHAHAHA!"
Panel 10:
A mathematician collapses in despair, screaming:
Mathematician: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Votey:
An old, bearded man (an artist holding a paintbrush) looks dejected.
Old man: "Now that everything has a point, everything feels pointless."
A man with flame-like (spiky) hair stands at a lectern addressing a seated audience.
Flame-haired speaker: "And so we can input these old proofs into solvers. Which the neural network then uses as training fodder."
Panel 2 (a person in the audience reacts):
Audience member: "Hey!"
Panel 3:
Flame-haired speaker: "This is a pure mathematics conference. No applied math allowed!"
Panel 4:
Audience member (standing, defiant): "Well well well. Don't you see, you fools?"
Panel 5:
Audience member: "With the advent of neural networks, EVERYTHING is potential training data, especially clean, abstract mathematical proofs!"
Panel 6:
Flame-haired speaker: "But... but that means--"
Panel 7:
Audience member: "That pure mathematics will be... APPLIED! ALL OF IT!"
Panel 8:
Members of the audience cry out in horror:
Audience: "YOU ARE ALL APPLIED MATHEMATICIANS NOW! ALL OF YOUR DREAMS ARE DEAD AND NOW ON OUR SIDE!"
Panel 9:
A voice (the audience member, triumphant): "Thank you for your contribution to human knowledge... AHAHAHAHA!"
Panel 10:
A mathematician collapses in despair, screaming:
Mathematician: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Votey:
An old, bearded man (an artist holding a paintbrush) looks dejected.
Old man: "Now that everything has a point, everything feels pointless."
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic set at a pure mathematics conference. A speaker with flame-like spiky hair stands at a lectern explaining that old mathematical proofs can be fed into solvers as training fodder for neural networks. An audience member objects ("Hey!"), and the speaker insists this is a pure math conference where no applied math is allowed. The audience member rises and gleefully reveals that with neural networks, everything (especially clean abstract proofs) is potential training data, meaning pure mathematics will be APPLIED, all of it. The crowd cries out in horror: "YOU ARE ALL APPLIED MATHEMATICIANS NOW! ALL OF YOUR DREAMS ARE DEAD AND NOW ON OUR SIDE!" The triumphant voice thanks them for their contribution to human knowledge with a maniacal laugh, while a despairing mathematician collapses screaming "NOOOOOOO!" Votey: a dejected old bearded artist holding a paintbrush says, "Now that everything has a point, everything feels pointless."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.