bigger
Original: bigger on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: Hey evolution, how come we don't have bigger brains? Were we limited by the size of the birth canal?
Panel 2:
Evolution (offscreen voice): No way! Do humans always think everything is about butts? Human brains are at the universal maximum size.
Panel 3:
Evolution: Neural evolution always runs the same way.
Evolution: First you develop sensing. Then you use sense data to make associations. Then you use associations to make simple predictions. Then you develop simulated world models to make complex predictions.
Panel 4:
Woman: If your neocortex was a quarter-pint bigger, you'd be able to run perfect sims in your head.
Woman: And then what would you do?
Panel 5:
Woman: Think about butts unceasingly until I die of thirst.
Evolution: Bingo.
Panel 6:
Evolution: The only way to transcend human intelligence is to have a mind with no desires. Evolution can't produce that because desires lead to mating. Human engineers won't produce that, because you'll program them to desire doing laundry in sexy underwear.
Woman: Yes.
Panel 7:
Woman: So humans are the end. The absolute pinnacle of intelligence.
Evolution (as a silhouette): In the same sense that roaches are the pinnacle of survival, yes.
Votey:
A cat's face in profile.
Speech bubble: Sorry, I missed that. I was thinking about Kurdyuk.
Woman: Hey evolution, how come we don't have bigger brains? Were we limited by the size of the birth canal?
Panel 2:
Evolution (offscreen voice): No way! Do humans always think everything is about butts? Human brains are at the universal maximum size.
Panel 3:
Evolution: Neural evolution always runs the same way.
Evolution: First you develop sensing. Then you use sense data to make associations. Then you use associations to make simple predictions. Then you develop simulated world models to make complex predictions.
Panel 4:
Woman: If your neocortex was a quarter-pint bigger, you'd be able to run perfect sims in your head.
Woman: And then what would you do?
Panel 5:
Woman: Think about butts unceasingly until I die of thirst.
Evolution: Bingo.
Panel 6:
Evolution: The only way to transcend human intelligence is to have a mind with no desires. Evolution can't produce that because desires lead to mating. Human engineers won't produce that, because you'll program them to desire doing laundry in sexy underwear.
Woman: Yes.
Panel 7:
Woman: So humans are the end. The absolute pinnacle of intelligence.
Evolution (as a silhouette): In the same sense that roaches are the pinnacle of survival, yes.
Votey:
A cat's face in profile.
Speech bubble: Sorry, I missed that. I was thinking about Kurdyuk.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic, all panels dripping with green slime at the top, depicting a brown-haired woman in an orange shirt talking with "evolution," which speaks from offscreen and finally appears as a black silhouette. The woman asks why humans don't have bigger brains, wondering if they were limited by the birth canal size. Evolution scoffs that humans always think everything is about butts, and says human brains are at the universal maximum size. It explains neural evolution always runs the same way: sensing, then associations, then simple predictions, then simulated world models for complex predictions. The woman muses that if her neocortex were a quarter-pint bigger she could run perfect simulations in her head, then asks what she'd do with that. She answers her own question: "Think about butts unceasingly until I die of thirst." Evolution replies "Bingo." Evolution concludes that the only way to transcend human intelligence is a mind with no desires, which evolution can't produce because desires lead to mating, and human engineers won't produce because they'll program AIs to desire doing laundry in sexy underwear; the woman agrees "Yes." In the final panel the woman asks if humans are therefore the absolute pinnacle of intelligence, and evolution's silhouette answers, "In the same sense that roaches are the pinnacle of survival, yes." Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn cat's face in profile with a speech bubble saying, "Sorry, I missed that. I was thinking about Kurdyuk."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.