grinch
Original: grinch on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A small green figure (a Grinch-like character) stands atop a snowy mountain peak with a dog, narrating.
Grinch (narrating): "They're singing! They're singing! Stealing all their presents brought them together! Perhaps Christmas means more than I—"
A voice interrupts from an off-panel speech bubble: "Hold up! Economist here."
Panel 2: Wide snowy mountain landscape. The Grinch stands at the peak; a man (the economist) stands lower on the slope.
Panel 3: Close on the economist, a bespectacled man in a suit sitting at a desk, addressing the Grinch (who wears a Santa hat).
Economist: "The issue isn't the goal, it's the method. Massive theft creates a shared burden among the group."
Panel 4: The Grinch (in a red Santa suit) listens, holding a bag, facing the economist.
Economist: "If you wanted to turn them against each other you should have created a source of internal discord and suspicion. Like, take only half their presents, but from a specific perceived ethnic group."
Panel 5: Close on the economist's face, smiling slightly.
Economist: "Ancient feuds will be revived and new ones imagined! It's all the hatred for half the work!"
Panel 6: The Grinch reacts, unsettled.
Grinch: "Gosh, you social scientists creep me out."
Panel 7: A dark panel. The small silhouette of the Grinch stands on a snowy ridge against a black sky; the economist's voice comes from off-panel.
Economist: "Do you want to be 'good' or do you want to be optimized?"
Votey:
A man (the economist) looking pleased, with a speech bubble.
Economist: "A pandemic would also work great!"
Grinch (narrating): "They're singing! They're singing! Stealing all their presents brought them together! Perhaps Christmas means more than I—"
A voice interrupts from an off-panel speech bubble: "Hold up! Economist here."
Panel 2: Wide snowy mountain landscape. The Grinch stands at the peak; a man (the economist) stands lower on the slope.
Panel 3: Close on the economist, a bespectacled man in a suit sitting at a desk, addressing the Grinch (who wears a Santa hat).
Economist: "The issue isn't the goal, it's the method. Massive theft creates a shared burden among the group."
Panel 4: The Grinch (in a red Santa suit) listens, holding a bag, facing the economist.
Economist: "If you wanted to turn them against each other you should have created a source of internal discord and suspicion. Like, take only half their presents, but from a specific perceived ethnic group."
Panel 5: Close on the economist's face, smiling slightly.
Economist: "Ancient feuds will be revived and new ones imagined! It's all the hatred for half the work!"
Panel 6: The Grinch reacts, unsettled.
Grinch: "Gosh, you social scientists creep me out."
Panel 7: A dark panel. The small silhouette of the Grinch stands on a snowy ridge against a black sky; the economist's voice comes from off-panel.
Economist: "Do you want to be 'good' or do you want to be optimized?"
Votey:
A man (the economist) looking pleased, with a speech bubble.
Economist: "A pandemic would also work great!"
Alt text
A seven-panel black-and-white comic parodying How the Grinch Stole Christmas. In the first panels, a small Grinch-like figure stands on a snowy mountain peak, narrating that stealing the townspeople's presents brought them together and that 'perhaps Christmas means more than I—' before being interrupted by a bespectacled man in a suit who announces 'Hold up! Economist here.' The economist explains that the Grinch's method was flawed: 'Massive theft creates a shared burden among the group.' To actually turn the people against each other, he advises creating internal discord and suspicion—for example, stealing only half the presents but targeting a specific perceived ethnic group, so that 'ancient feuds will be revived and new ones imagined! It's all the hatred for half the work!' The Grinch, now in a red Santa suit, replies 'Gosh, you social scientists creep me out.' In the final dark panel, the Grinch stands as a tiny silhouette on a ridge while the economist asks ominously, 'Do you want to be "good" or do you want to be optimized?' The votey (bonus panel) shows the smiling economist adding cheerfully, 'A pandemic would also work great!'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.