empirical
Original: empirical on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with red hair in a pink dress stands joyfully, arms outstretched, in a green hilly landscape.
Woman: THE MOMENT I WALKED HERE I FELT A CONNECTION TO MY ANCESTORS.
Panel 2: The woman is now a tiny silhouette standing alone in the vast green-and-red landscape.
Woman (caption): I FELT HOME.
Panel 3: The woman, now sitting at a desk looking deflated.
Woman: HOWEVER, SUBSEQUENT DOUBLE-BLIND STUDIES SHOWED I COULDN'T DIFFERENTIATE IT FROM SIMILAR LANDSCAPES AT A RATE BETTER THAN CHANCE, SO I'VE HAD TO ABANDON THE THEORY THAT THIS PLACE IS DEEPLY MEANINGFUL TO ME.
Panel 4: The woman stands in the landscape again, arms outstretched, head tilted back.
Woman: GOD, IT SUCKS BEING AN EMPIRICIST.
Votey: A close-up of the woman's face, looking slightly downcast.
Woman: THE LANDS OF THE ELDERS ARE COOL, BUT NOT, LIKE, DISNEYWORLD-COOL.
Woman: THE MOMENT I WALKED HERE I FELT A CONNECTION TO MY ANCESTORS.
Panel 2: The woman is now a tiny silhouette standing alone in the vast green-and-red landscape.
Woman (caption): I FELT HOME.
Panel 3: The woman, now sitting at a desk looking deflated.
Woman: HOWEVER, SUBSEQUENT DOUBLE-BLIND STUDIES SHOWED I COULDN'T DIFFERENTIATE IT FROM SIMILAR LANDSCAPES AT A RATE BETTER THAN CHANCE, SO I'VE HAD TO ABANDON THE THEORY THAT THIS PLACE IS DEEPLY MEANINGFUL TO ME.
Panel 4: The woman stands in the landscape again, arms outstretched, head tilted back.
Woman: GOD, IT SUCKS BEING AN EMPIRICIST.
Votey: A close-up of the woman's face, looking slightly downcast.
Woman: THE LANDS OF THE ELDERS ARE COOL, BUT NOT, LIKE, DISNEYWORLD-COOL.
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A red-haired woman in a pink dress stands with arms outstretched in a green, hilly landscape, saying "The moment I walked here I felt a connection to my ancestors." Panel 2: She is a tiny silhouette in the vast landscape, with the caption "I felt home." Panel 3: She sits slumped at a desk, saying "However, subsequent double-blind studies showed I couldn't differentiate it from similar landscapes at a rate better than chance, so I've had to abandon the theory that this place is deeply meaningful to me." Panel 4: Back in the landscape with arms outstretched, she declares, "God, it sucks being an empiricist." The joke: she applies rigorous scientific skepticism to her own emotional/spiritual experience and reluctantly concludes the felt meaning isn't statistically real. Votey: A close-up of her downcast face as she says, "The lands of the elders are cool, but not, like, Disneyworld-cool."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.