new-years
Original: new-years on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A young man with flame-like orange hair sits in a red armchair, gesturing enthusiastically.
Man: "NEW YEAR, NEW ME! I'M GONNA GET FIT, FIND LOVE, AND ACHIEVE ALL MY BIG GOALS, AND NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY!"
Panel 2:
Caption banner: "LATER..."
The same man, now slimmer and muscular, stands in a gym doing a dumbbell curl with a determined expression.
Panel 3:
Caption banner: "LATER STILL..."
The man, in a suit and carrying a briefcase, walks alongside a woman in a red blazer through what looks like an office or apartment with a city skyline visible through a window.
Panel 4:
Caption banner: "AND THEN..."
The man kneels on a beach at sunset, holding out an open ring box, proposing to a smiling woman in a yellow skirt and pink top who clasps her hands to her chest.
Panel 5:
The man, older and in a suit and red tie, stands with both thumbs pointing at himself, smiling smugly with eyes closed.
Caption: "THE MAN WAS SUCCESSFUL IN ALL HIS RESOLUTIONS. DON'T LIKE IT? WELL, HE DOESN'T EXIST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR FAILURES. THIS IS THE END OF THE COMIC."
Votey:
Caption: "GETTING SMBC BACK TO ITS AUDIENCE-ALIENATING ROOTS!"
Three people stand looking unimpressed or unsettled, one with arms crossed, reacting to the comic.
A young man with flame-like orange hair sits in a red armchair, gesturing enthusiastically.
Man: "NEW YEAR, NEW ME! I'M GONNA GET FIT, FIND LOVE, AND ACHIEVE ALL MY BIG GOALS, AND NOTHING WILL STAND IN MY WAY!"
Panel 2:
Caption banner: "LATER..."
The same man, now slimmer and muscular, stands in a gym doing a dumbbell curl with a determined expression.
Panel 3:
Caption banner: "LATER STILL..."
The man, in a suit and carrying a briefcase, walks alongside a woman in a red blazer through what looks like an office or apartment with a city skyline visible through a window.
Panel 4:
Caption banner: "AND THEN..."
The man kneels on a beach at sunset, holding out an open ring box, proposing to a smiling woman in a yellow skirt and pink top who clasps her hands to her chest.
Panel 5:
The man, older and in a suit and red tie, stands with both thumbs pointing at himself, smiling smugly with eyes closed.
Caption: "THE MAN WAS SUCCESSFUL IN ALL HIS RESOLUTIONS. DON'T LIKE IT? WELL, HE DOESN'T EXIST TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER ABOUT YOUR FAILURES. THIS IS THE END OF THE COMIC."
Votey:
Caption: "GETTING SMBC BACK TO ITS AUDIENCE-ALIENATING ROOTS!"
Three people stand looking unimpressed or unsettled, one with arms crossed, reacting to the comic.
Alt text
A five-panel comic. Panel 1: a young man with flame-like orange hair sits in a red armchair declaring, "New year, new me! I'm gonna get fit, find love, and achieve all my big goals, and nothing will stand in my way!" Panel 2, captioned "Later...": the man is now fit and muscular, doing a dumbbell curl in a gym. Panel 3, captioned "Later still...": he walks in a suit with a briefcase beside a woman in a red blazer, a city skyline behind them, signaling career success. Panel 4, captioned "And then...": he kneels on a beach at sunset proposing with a ring to a happy woman. Panel 5: now older in a suit and tie, he points both thumbs at himself with a smug closed-eyed smile, over the caption: "The man was successful in all his resolutions. Don't like it? Well, he doesn't exist to make you feel better about your failures. This is the end of the comic." The joke: instead of the usual failure punchline, the man simply succeeds and the comic taunts the reader for wanting reassurance. Votey: three unimpressed people stand reacting, with the caption "Getting SMBC back to its audience-alienating roots!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.