never-had
Original: never-had on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Son (young man with red hair): Dad, why do you live this way?
Dad (older bald man with glasses): I do it because I want you to have all the things I never had.
Panel 2:
Dad: Like poverty!
Panel 3:
Dad: Also climate catastrophe and serious fascist movements.
(The dad is looking at a smartphone in his hand.)
Panel 4:
Dad: I don't see why specifically you have to burn trash and use the power to post online conspiracy theories.
Dad: It's an elaborate metaphor!
(In this panel the dad gestures toward a smoking barrel/drum apparatus emitting flames and dark smoke.)
Votey:
Dad (extreme close-up of his strained face): This is how Sasquatch wants to be spread!
Son (young man with red hair): Dad, why do you live this way?
Dad (older bald man with glasses): I do it because I want you to have all the things I never had.
Panel 2:
Dad: Like poverty!
Panel 3:
Dad: Also climate catastrophe and serious fascist movements.
(The dad is looking at a smartphone in his hand.)
Panel 4:
Dad: I don't see why specifically you have to burn trash and use the power to post online conspiracy theories.
Dad: It's an elaborate metaphor!
(In this panel the dad gestures toward a smoking barrel/drum apparatus emitting flames and dark smoke.)
Votey:
Dad (extreme close-up of his strained face): This is how Sasquatch wants to be spread!
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a young man with red hair asks his bald, bespectacled father, "Dad, why do you live this way?" The dad replies, "I do it because I want you to have all the things I never had." Panel 2: a close-up of the dad smiling, finishing his thought: "Like poverty!" Panel 3: the dad, now looking grim and holding a smartphone, adds, "Also climate catastrophe and serious fascist movements," while the son watches in the background. Panel 4: the dad stands beside a smoking metal drum apparatus belching flames and dark smoke; he says, "I don't see why specifically you have to burn trash and use the power to post online conspiracy theories," and concludes cheerfully, "It's an elaborate metaphor!" The joke: he is literally enacting societal decline as a deadpan inheritance for his son. Votey aftercomic: an extreme close-up of the dad's strained, intense face declaring, "This is how Sasquatch wants to be spread!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.