scythe
Original: scythe on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Death (a hooded, scythe-wielding figure): DAAAVE! I HAVE COME-
Dave (a young man on a couch): WHY DO YOU USE A SCYTHE?
Panel 2:
Dave: WHAT?
Dave: THAT'S OLD TECHNOLOGY, MAN. MODERN FARMERS USE A COMBINE HARVESTER AND IT'S LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF TIMES FASTER.
Panel 3:
Death: HUH.
(Close-up on Death's empty hood and the blade of the scythe.)
Panel 4:
Death: HUH.
(Wide shot, silhouette: Death stands beside the now-empty couch.)
Panel 5:
Caption banner: SOME TIME LATER...
A news anchor at a desk: AND THE RATE OF PANDEMIC DEATH CONTINUES TO SKYROCKET.
(Behind him, a line graph shows a curve that rises sharply upward.)
Votey:
A crude sketch of the man (Dave) hunched over and pushing/operating a combine harvester, which Death has adopted. A speech bubble reads: WOOOOOOO
Death (a hooded, scythe-wielding figure): DAAAVE! I HAVE COME-
Dave (a young man on a couch): WHY DO YOU USE A SCYTHE?
Panel 2:
Dave: WHAT?
Dave: THAT'S OLD TECHNOLOGY, MAN. MODERN FARMERS USE A COMBINE HARVESTER AND IT'S LITERALLY THOUSANDS OF TIMES FASTER.
Panel 3:
Death: HUH.
(Close-up on Death's empty hood and the blade of the scythe.)
Panel 4:
Death: HUH.
(Wide shot, silhouette: Death stands beside the now-empty couch.)
Panel 5:
Caption banner: SOME TIME LATER...
A news anchor at a desk: AND THE RATE OF PANDEMIC DEATH CONTINUES TO SKYROCKET.
(Behind him, a line graph shows a curve that rises sharply upward.)
Votey:
A crude sketch of the man (Dave) hunched over and pushing/operating a combine harvester, which Death has adopted. A speech bubble reads: WOOOOOOO
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a hooded, scythe-carrying figure of Death looms over Dave, a young man slouched on a couch, saying "DAAAVE! I have come-" Dave interrupts: "Why do you use a scythe?" Panel 2: Dave continues, "What? That's old technology, man. Modern farmers use a combine harvester and it's literally thousands of times faster." Panel 3: extreme close-up of Death's empty black hood and the tip of the scythe; Death says "Huh." Panel 4: a wide silhouette shot of Death standing beside the now-empty couch, repeating "Huh" thoughtfully. Panel 5: under a banner reading "Some time later...", a TV news anchor at a desk announces "And the rate of pandemic death continues to skyrocket," beside a line graph whose curve shoots steeply upward. The joke: Death took the harvesting-efficiency advice literally and upgraded from a scythe to a mass-killing combine. Votey: a rough doodle of Dave operating the combine harvester, shouting "WOOOOOOO," now apparently put to work running Death's new equipment.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.