matrix

A six-panel SMBC comic. A shirtless human man talks with a green alien named Zortrang. Man: "Hey Zortrang, is it okay to steal food to feed the hungry?" Zortrang: "Just consult the morality matrix." Confused, the man says "What?" Zortrang explains it's the product of the "morality numbers," then rattles off a list: whole numbers, imaginary numbers, surreal numbers, morality numbers, odd numbers, complex numbers, "you get the gist." The man, increasingly irritated, says: "You mean to tell me you have spacecraft, artificial intelligence, thousands of branches of mathematics, and you haven't hit upon the objective mathematical rules of ethics?" In the final panel the man snarls, "If you identify my ignorance any harder I will stab your face!" while Zortrang, having a revelation, says "It all makes so much sense." Votey (aftercomic): A close-up of the grinning, drooling alien declaring, "It's how we know it's okay to eat you!" — revealing the aliens use ethics math to justify eating humans.