emotion-4
Original: emotion-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Robot: Dave, regression analysis of your behavior indicates that you would find me a better mate if I expressed emotional extremes from time to time.
Dave: Now and then, yeah. I'd feel you were a more whole person.
Panel 2:
Robot: Human extreme emotions are expressed with water.
Dave: I don't think that's right.?
Panel 3 (the robot is shown leaking water/tears from its face):
Panel 4:
Dave: I have completed crying, but my feelings, though at a lower pitch, are still predominantly negative.
Robot: It's not an honest signal of emotional state if you can just switch it on and off.
Panel 5 (Dave, looking unimpressed, faces the robot):
Panel 6:
Dave (close-up): Are you ejecting sweat to indicate anxiety?
Robot: Removing ballast in case I need to run from the relationship.
Votey:
Robot: I am also prepared to kill.
Robot: Dave, regression analysis of your behavior indicates that you would find me a better mate if I expressed emotional extremes from time to time.
Dave: Now and then, yeah. I'd feel you were a more whole person.
Panel 2:
Robot: Human extreme emotions are expressed with water.
Dave: I don't think that's right.?
Panel 3 (the robot is shown leaking water/tears from its face):
Panel 4:
Dave: I have completed crying, but my feelings, though at a lower pitch, are still predominantly negative.
Robot: It's not an honest signal of emotional state if you can just switch it on and off.
Panel 5 (Dave, looking unimpressed, faces the robot):
Panel 6:
Dave (close-up): Are you ejecting sweat to indicate anxiety?
Robot: Removing ballast in case I need to run from the relationship.
Votey:
Robot: I am also prepared to kill.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic about a robot in a relationship with a man named Dave, trying to mimic human emotions. Panel 1: A boxy robot with yellow eyes tells Dave, 'Dave, regression analysis of your behavior indicates that you would find me a better mate if I expressed emotional extremes from time to time.' Dave replies, 'Now and then, yeah. I'd feel you were a more whole person.' Panel 2: The robot says, 'Human extreme emotions are expressed with water.' Dave responds, 'I don't think that's right.?' Panel 3: The robot's face is shown leaking water like tears. Panel 4: Dave, in a red shirt, says, 'I have completed crying, but my feelings, though at a lower pitch, are still predominantly negative.' The robot answers, 'It's not an honest signal of emotional state if you can just switch it on and off.' Panel 5: Dave faces the robot with a skeptical expression. Panel 6: A close-up of Dave asking, 'Are you ejecting sweat to indicate anxiety?' while the robot, now sweating, says, 'Removing ballast in case I need to run from the relationship.' Votey (aftercomic): A close-up of the round-headed robot with a speech bubble reading, 'I am also prepared to kill.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.