invest
Original: invest on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A speaker at a lectern addresses a seated audience.
Speaker: "So, instead of using those resources to attempt a takeover of Australia, invest in index funds. Then, withdraw 4% a year, which can be used to take over, say, small towns in New Zealand, one at a time. Remember, the goal is longterm sustainability."
Panel 2:
A graph. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "HOW GOOD A SUPERHERO MOVIE IS" and the horizontal (x) axis is labeled "REALISM". The plotted curve is a bell-shaped curve: it rises to a single peak at a moderate level of realism, then falls back down toward zero at high realism.
Votey:
A man with a goatee speaks.
Man: "Remember, you cannot write off a lair unless it is entirely used for villanous purposes."
A speaker at a lectern addresses a seated audience.
Speaker: "So, instead of using those resources to attempt a takeover of Australia, invest in index funds. Then, withdraw 4% a year, which can be used to take over, say, small towns in New Zealand, one at a time. Remember, the goal is longterm sustainability."
Panel 2:
A graph. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "HOW GOOD A SUPERHERO MOVIE IS" and the horizontal (x) axis is labeled "REALISM". The plotted curve is a bell-shaped curve: it rises to a single peak at a moderate level of realism, then falls back down toward zero at high realism.
Votey:
A man with a goatee speaks.
Man: "Remember, you cannot write off a lair unless it is entirely used for villanous purposes."
Alt text
A two-part SMBC comic. Main comic, top panel: a speaker stands at a lectern delivering a presentation to a colorful seated audience. He says: "So, instead of using those resources to attempt a takeover of Australia, invest in index funds. Then, withdraw 4% a year, which can be used to take over, say, small towns in New Zealand, one at a time. Remember, the goal is longterm sustainability." The joke is a supervillain pitching a calm, financially-prudent, index-fund-and-4%-withdrawal strategy for world domination. Bottom panel: a hand-drawn graph titled with a y-axis labeled "HOW GOOD A SUPERHERO MOVIE IS" and an x-axis labeled "REALISM." The curve is a bell shape that peaks at a moderate amount of realism and drops off toward zero at both low and high realism, implying superhero movies are best with some but not too much realism. Votey (bonus panel): a man with a goatee says, "Remember, you cannot write off a lair unless it is entirely used for villanous purposes," extending the deadpan supervillain-as-responsible-accountant gag to tax write-offs.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.