school-2
Original: school-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Mom, why do I HAVE to go to school?
Panel 2:
Mom: Because when you're at school, that's when mommy and daddy SCREW.
Panel 3:
Mom: You could stay here if you like, but you might want to cover your ears because about 7 minutes in there's so much moaning and rattling of chains it sounds like the Jacob Marley scene from a Christmas Carol.
Panel 4:
Mom: You've simultaneously ruined home AND Christmas.
Mom: Which is why you should go to school!
Votey:
Mom (offscreen, in speech bubble): Run.
(The child stares ahead with a wide-eyed, shaken expression.)
Child: Mom, why do I HAVE to go to school?
Panel 2:
Mom: Because when you're at school, that's when mommy and daddy SCREW.
Panel 3:
Mom: You could stay here if you like, but you might want to cover your ears because about 7 minutes in there's so much moaning and rattling of chains it sounds like the Jacob Marley scene from a Christmas Carol.
Panel 4:
Mom: You've simultaneously ruined home AND Christmas.
Mom: Which is why you should go to school!
Votey:
Mom (offscreen, in speech bubble): Run.
(The child stares ahead with a wide-eyed, shaken expression.)
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: A child asks her mother, "Mom, why do I HAVE to go to school?" Panel 2: The mom answers flatly, "Because when you're at school, that's when mommy and daddy SCREW." Panel 3: The mom continues, "You could stay here if you like, but you might want to cover your ears because about 7 minutes in there's so much moaning and rattling of chains it sounds like the Jacob Marley scene from a Christmas Carol." Panel 4: The mom concludes, "You've simultaneously ruined home AND Christmas. Which is why you should go to school!" Votey: A close-up of the child's wide-eyed, traumatized face as the mom's voice says simply, "Run."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.