carbonite
Original: carbonite on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A bounty hunter in Mandalorian-style armor (green and tan, evoking Boba Fett) stands beside a large green slug-like crime lord (evoking Jabba the Hutt).
Bounty hunter: "I HAVE ENCASED HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE."
Panel 2: The slug-like crime lord replies.
Crime lord: "WAIT-- YOU PROBABLY FROZE ALL HIS CELLS, MAN."
Panel 3: The bounty hunter gestures.
Bounty hunter: "GIVE IT A QUICK DEFROST AND SEE IF HE'S HUGRY."
Panel 4: A frozen carbonite slab on the ground showing the face and hands of a man (Han Solo).
Bounty hunter (off-panel): "AND GO."
Panel 5: The crime lord and bounty hunter.
Crime lord: "60% DISCOUNT ON THAT BOUNTY!"
Bounty hunter: "SOLD."
Bounty hunter: "I HAVE ENCASED HAN SOLO IN CARBONITE."
Panel 2: The slug-like crime lord replies.
Crime lord: "WAIT-- YOU PROBABLY FROZE ALL HIS CELLS, MAN."
Panel 3: The bounty hunter gestures.
Bounty hunter: "GIVE IT A QUICK DEFROST AND SEE IF HE'S HUGRY."
Panel 4: A frozen carbonite slab on the ground showing the face and hands of a man (Han Solo).
Bounty hunter (off-panel): "AND GO."
Panel 5: The crime lord and bounty hunter.
Crime lord: "60% DISCOUNT ON THAT BOUNTY!"
Bounty hunter: "SOLD."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC parody of the Empire Strikes Back carbonite scene. A green-and-tan armored bounty hunter (like Boba Fett) tells a giant green slug crime lord (like Jabba the Hutt), "I have encased Han Solo in carbonite." The crime lord objects: "Wait-- you probably froze all his cells, man." The bounty hunter says, "Give it a quick defrost and see if he's hungry. And go." A panel shows the carbonite slab with the frozen man's face and hands. The crime lord then offers "60% discount on that bounty!" and the bounty hunter replies "Sold," the joke being that freezing all his cells likely killed him, so the bounty is worth far less. Votey (aftercomic): plain hand-lettered text reading, "In the movies, everything after Han gets frozen is a brief dream he experiences before all of his neurons are lysed."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.