sheila
Original: sheila on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (in suit, surprised): Oh my God! Sheila!
Panel 2:
Woman (dark-haired, in red): No. No, not Sheila. But EVER so close.
Panel 3:
Woman: I've created a neural network that scans attractive men's photos, looking for longterm girlfriends who either died or dumped them, and who happen to look similar to me.
Panel 4:
Woman: Then, I swoop in on the men, who find me disorienting yet arousing. Oh, you won't find me interesting or clever or particularly fun to be around, but somewhere deep in your brain you'll feel that I'm Sheila.
Panel 5:
Woman: And so, though you are very far out of my league sir... you will be mine.
Panel 6:
Man (holding up both hands): You need a hobby.
Woman: This is my hobby.
Votey:
Woman: Can we have meaningless sex.?
Man: Yes, please!
Man (in suit, surprised): Oh my God! Sheila!
Panel 2:
Woman (dark-haired, in red): No. No, not Sheila. But EVER so close.
Panel 3:
Woman: I've created a neural network that scans attractive men's photos, looking for longterm girlfriends who either died or dumped them, and who happen to look similar to me.
Panel 4:
Woman: Then, I swoop in on the men, who find me disorienting yet arousing. Oh, you won't find me interesting or clever or particularly fun to be around, but somewhere deep in your brain you'll feel that I'm Sheila.
Panel 5:
Woman: And so, though you are very far out of my league sir... you will be mine.
Panel 6:
Man (holding up both hands): You need a hobby.
Woman: This is my hobby.
Votey:
Woman: Can we have meaningless sex.?
Man: Yes, please!
Alt text
A six-panel comic. Panel 1: A surprised man in a suit says "Oh my God! Sheila!" to a dark-haired woman seen from behind. Panel 2: The woman, in a red top, replies intensely, "No. No, not Sheila. But EVER so close." Panel 3: She explains, "I've created a neural network that scans attractive men's photos, looking for longterm girlfriends who either died or dumped them, and who happen to look similar to me." Panel 4: She continues, "Then, I swoop in on the men, who find me disorienting yet arousing. Oh, you won't find me interesting or clever or particularly fun to be around, but somewhere deep in your brain you'll feel that I'm Sheila." Panel 5: Leaning in with a manic grin, she says, "And so, though you are very far out of my league sir... you will be mine." Panel 6: The man holds up both hands and says, "You need a hobby." The woman calmly replies, "This is my hobby." Votey: A simple sketch of a face; the woman asks, "Can we have meaningless sex.?" and the man eagerly replies, "Yes, please!"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.