heaven-4
Original: heaven-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A man stands with arms outstretched at a large golden gate amid clouds.
Man: I'M AT THE PEARLY GATES!
Panel 2: A robed, bearded figure stands at a podium. The man approaches and waves.
Man: ST. PETER!
Panel 3: Close-up of the bearded St. Peter figure with eyes closed.
St. Peter: WE HAVE YOUR BROWSER HISTORY.
Panel 4: The man, now looking resigned, stands holding a small flame/lighter; other figures look on in the background.
Man: I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE THEN.
St. Peter (off-panel): YOUR CLARITY IS APPRECIATED.
Votey: Close-up of the bearded St. Peter figure (drawn in black-and-white sketch style).
St. Peter: PLEASE DON'T LET YOUR HANDS TOUCH ANYTHING ON THE WAY DOWN.
Man: I'M AT THE PEARLY GATES!
Panel 2: A robed, bearded figure stands at a podium. The man approaches and waves.
Man: ST. PETER!
Panel 3: Close-up of the bearded St. Peter figure with eyes closed.
St. Peter: WE HAVE YOUR BROWSER HISTORY.
Panel 4: The man, now looking resigned, stands holding a small flame/lighter; other figures look on in the background.
Man: I'LL JUST GO AHEAD AND LIGHT MYSELF ON FIRE THEN.
St. Peter (off-panel): YOUR CLARITY IS APPRECIATED.
Votey: Close-up of the bearded St. Peter figure (drawn in black-and-white sketch style).
St. Peter: PLEASE DON'T LET YOUR HANDS TOUCH ANYTHING ON THE WAY DOWN.
Alt text
A four-panel comic. Panel 1: a man with arms spread wide stands before a large golden gate in the clouds, exclaiming 'I'm at the pearly gates!' Panel 2: he approaches a tall robed, bearded figure at a podium and calls out 'St. Peter!' Panel 3: a close-up of the bearded St. Peter, eyes closed, saying flatly 'We have your browser history.' Panel 4: the man, resigned, holds a small flame and says 'I'll just go ahead and light myself on fire then,' while St. Peter replies 'Your clarity is appreciated.' Votey: a black-and-white sketch close-up of St. Peter adding, 'Please don't let your hands touch anything on the way down.' The joke: knowing his browser history damns him, the man volunteers for hell, and St. Peter advises against touching things en route.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.