zorgax
Original: zorgax on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: Two green aliens stand among a group of humans. One alien, addressing the other, gestures toward something off-panel.
Alien 1: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, ZORGAX?!
Panel 2: The second alien (Zorgax) explains.
Zorgax: THAT'S A "SCARE-HUMAN." YOU GUYS KEEP GETTING INTO THE HUMAN-FOOD BINS, SO WE PUT THIS UP TO FRIGHTEN YOU AWAY.
Panel 3: A crude humanoid mannequin is mounted on a tall stick/pole, like a scarecrow. The first alien looks up at it.
Alien 1: IT'S JUST A MANNEQUIN ON A STICK.
Panel 4: An alien sits in a chair/seat, viewed from behind, pressing a button on a device.
Sound effect: boop
Panel 5: Close on the mannequin-on-a-stick (the "scare-human"), now seen near an alien.
Mannequin (activated, speaking): WE SHOULD DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS.
Panel 6: The crowd of humans reacts in terror, fleeing.
Humans (shouting): SCATTER! SCATTER!
Votey:
A human figure stands with a small device/communicator near their chest. A speech bubble points away from them.
Speech bubble: CAN. I. BORROW. MONEY.
Alien 1: WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, ZORGAX?!
Panel 2: The second alien (Zorgax) explains.
Zorgax: THAT'S A "SCARE-HUMAN." YOU GUYS KEEP GETTING INTO THE HUMAN-FOOD BINS, SO WE PUT THIS UP TO FRIGHTEN YOU AWAY.
Panel 3: A crude humanoid mannequin is mounted on a tall stick/pole, like a scarecrow. The first alien looks up at it.
Alien 1: IT'S JUST A MANNEQUIN ON A STICK.
Panel 4: An alien sits in a chair/seat, viewed from behind, pressing a button on a device.
Sound effect: boop
Panel 5: Close on the mannequin-on-a-stick (the "scare-human"), now seen near an alien.
Mannequin (activated, speaking): WE SHOULD DISCUSS OUR RELATIONSHIP STATUS.
Panel 6: The crowd of humans reacts in terror, fleeing.
Humans (shouting): SCATTER! SCATTER!
Votey:
A human figure stands with a small device/communicator near their chest. A speech bubble points away from them.
Speech bubble: CAN. I. BORROW. MONEY.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Two green aliens stand in a crowd of humans. One alien snaps, "What the hell is this, Zorgax?!" Zorgax replies that it's a "scare-human" they put up to frighten away humans who keep raiding the alien food bins. The skeptical alien points out it's just a crude humanoid mannequin mounted on a stick, like a scarecrow. Another alien, seated and seen from behind, presses a button ("boop"). The mannequin activates and says, "We should discuss our relationship status." The humans immediately panic and flee, shouting "Scatter! Scatter!" The joke: the thing humans find most terrifying is relationship talk. Votey (bonus panel): a lone human figure with a small communicator, with a robotic, halting speech bubble reading "Can. I. Borrow. Money." — another phrase humans dread.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.