war
Original: war on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Person (off-panel, red-haired): Why can't we be more like other animals? You know, other animals never make war.
Woman with grey hair (red shirt, white round glasses): Oh, sure they do. Chimps do it. Ants do it.
Panel 2:
Grey-haired woman: Some ants not only war against other ants, they take captives as slaves!
Panel 3:
Grey-haired woman: No, war isn't special to us. What IS special is PROXY wars.
Panel 4:
Grey-haired woman: You never see a group of chimps funneling sticks and stones to a distant tribe of chimps to help them fight a third group of chimps in order to thwart the ambitions of a fourth group of chimps who are supplying sticks and stones to the third group of chimps.
Panel 5:
Grey-haired woman (arms raised): THAT is the province of MAN.
Panel 6:
The red-haired person (off-panel): Somehow I hate us even more.
Votey:
(NOTE TO SELF: APPLY FOR GRANT TO DETERMINE IF DOLPHINS CAN BE MADE TO FIGHT PROXY WARS)
Person (off-panel, red-haired): Why can't we be more like other animals? You know, other animals never make war.
Woman with grey hair (red shirt, white round glasses): Oh, sure they do. Chimps do it. Ants do it.
Panel 2:
Grey-haired woman: Some ants not only war against other ants, they take captives as slaves!
Panel 3:
Grey-haired woman: No, war isn't special to us. What IS special is PROXY wars.
Panel 4:
Grey-haired woman: You never see a group of chimps funneling sticks and stones to a distant tribe of chimps to help them fight a third group of chimps in order to thwart the ambitions of a fourth group of chimps who are supplying sticks and stones to the third group of chimps.
Panel 5:
Grey-haired woman (arms raised): THAT is the province of MAN.
Panel 6:
The red-haired person (off-panel): Somehow I hate us even more.
Votey:
(NOTE TO SELF: APPLY FOR GRANT TO DETERMINE IF DOLPHINS CAN BE MADE TO FIGHT PROXY WARS)
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A red-haired person asks an off-panel question to a grey-haired woman in a red shirt with white round glasses. The person says humans should be more like other animals because other animals never make war. The woman corrects them: other animals do make war, chimps do it, ants do it, and some ants even take slaves. She says war isn't special to humans, but proxy wars are. She explains at length that you never see chimps funneling sticks and stones to a distant tribe of chimps to fight a third group of chimps to thwart a fourth group of chimps supplying the third group. Raising her arms, she declares that THAT is the province of MAN. The red-haired person replies that somehow they hate humanity even more. Votey panel: handwritten text reads, '(NOTE TO SELF: APPLY FOR GRANT TO DETERMINE IF DOLPHINS CAN BE MADE TO FIGHT PROXY WARS).'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.