cure-2
Original: cure-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (with dark curly hair): "Have you noticed this thing where every chemical ever tested will 'anti-cancer' properties?"
Panel 2:
Woman: "Look, you know enough of something on some cancer cells and it's bound to have an effect. But it's not how you use it. You have to use the patient to cure the disease."
Panel 3:
Man (white-eyed, shocked expression): "My god. Cancer kills cancer kills. But that means..."
Panel 4 (a newspaper headline mock-up):
Headline: "CANCER FOUND TO POSSESS ANTICANCER PROPERTIES"
Man (small panel inset): "Don't you dare publish this."
Votey:
Handwritten on a newspaper/note: "'Please stop, you're killing people,' says know-it-all scientist"
Woman (with dark curly hair): "Have you noticed this thing where every chemical ever tested will 'anti-cancer' properties?"
Panel 2:
Woman: "Look, you know enough of something on some cancer cells and it's bound to have an effect. But it's not how you use it. You have to use the patient to cure the disease."
Panel 3:
Man (white-eyed, shocked expression): "My god. Cancer kills cancer kills. But that means..."
Panel 4 (a newspaper headline mock-up):
Headline: "CANCER FOUND TO POSSESS ANTICANCER PROPERTIES"
Man (small panel inset): "Don't you dare publish this."
Votey:
Handwritten on a newspaper/note: "'Please stop, you're killing people,' says know-it-all scientist"
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. A woman with dark curly hair talks to a man in a suit. She remarks that every chemical ever tested seems to have 'anti-cancer' properties, then explains that if you study enough of any substance on cancer cells it's bound to have an effect, but it's not how you use it: 'You have to use the patient to cure the disease.' The man's eyes go wide with shock as he says, 'My god... but that means...' The final panel shows a mock newspaper front page with the giant headline 'CANCER FOUND TO POSSESS ANTICANCER PROPERTIES,' with a small inset of the man pleading, 'Don't you dare publish this.' The joke twists overhyped cancer-research framing back on itself, concluding absurdly that cancer itself has anticancer properties. Votey (aftercomic): a hand-drawn newspaper showing the scrawled follow-up headline, 'Please stop, you're killing people,' says know-it-all scientist.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.