dolphins
Original: dolphins on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Narration: It took decades, but we recorded every sound dolphins can make, then analyzed the subset they use regularly.
(Two scientists in lab coats stand at a control console in front of a large aquarium tank where dolphins swim.)
Panel 2
Narration: With behavioral analysis, we slowly built up a vocabulary, then a syntax, then a complete grammar.
Dolphin (offscreen sound): Ee- ee-ee- ee-ee! Ee!
(A scientist listens.)
Panel 3
Narration: At last, we could speak.
Scientist: How come you guys never wear clothes?
Dolphin: Holy shit!
(A scientist stands at the tank's edge; a dolphin reacts.)
Panel 4
Narration: They are more civilized now, but are they happier?
(Dolphins now swim wearing clothing—shirts, shorts, and other garments.)
Votey:
Dolphin (thinking): God, the next asteroid can't come soon enough.
(Close-up of a dolphin's face with a thought bubble.)
Narration: It took decades, but we recorded every sound dolphins can make, then analyzed the subset they use regularly.
(Two scientists in lab coats stand at a control console in front of a large aquarium tank where dolphins swim.)
Panel 2
Narration: With behavioral analysis, we slowly built up a vocabulary, then a syntax, then a complete grammar.
Dolphin (offscreen sound): Ee- ee-ee- ee-ee! Ee!
(A scientist listens.)
Panel 3
Narration: At last, we could speak.
Scientist: How come you guys never wear clothes?
Dolphin: Holy shit!
(A scientist stands at the tank's edge; a dolphin reacts.)
Panel 4
Narration: They are more civilized now, but are they happier?
(Dolphins now swim wearing clothing—shirts, shorts, and other garments.)
Votey:
Dolphin (thinking): God, the next asteroid can't come soon enough.
(Close-up of a dolphin's face with a thought bubble.)
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: two scientists in lab coats stand at a control console in front of a big aquarium tank of dolphins; narration reads 'It took decades, but we recorded every sound dolphins can make, then analyzed the subset they use regularly.' Panel 2: a close-up of a scientist listening; narration reads 'With behavioral analysis, we slowly built up a vocabulary, then a syntax, then a complete grammar,' and a dolphin makes squeaky sounds 'Ee- ee-ee- ee-ee! Ee!' Panel 3: narration 'At last, we could speak'; the scientist asks a dolphin 'How come you guys never wear clothes?' and the dolphin replies 'Holy shit!' Panel 4: narration 'They are more civilized now, but are they happier?'—the dolphins now swim around dressed in shirts and shorts. Votey: a close-up of a clothed dolphin's face with a thought bubble reading 'God, the next asteroid can't come soon enough,' implying it would rather go extinct than keep wearing clothes.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.