ohyesrobot.ordoliberal.com

app-3

Original: app-3 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal

Transcript

Panel 1:
Man in dark suit and sunglasses (street vendor): "Would you like to buy my productivity app?"

Panel 2:
Woman with red hair: "What?"
Vendor: "I have a box of them. I'll sell you one for five dollars."

Panel 3:
Woman: "This is just a piece of cardboard that says 'Nobody cares about your opinions.'"
(The cardboard is shown, hand-lettered: "Nobody cares about your opinions.")

Panel 4:
Vendor: "Try putting it on your screen."

Panel 5:
The woman holds the cardboard up to her laptop screen.

Panel 6:
Woman (overwhelmed/emotional): "This will save seven hours a day. You've done something amazing! You --"

Panel 7:
The vendor stands holding the box of cardboard cards, expressionless behind his sunglasses, one card reading "Nobody cares about your opinions."

Votey:
The woman (off-panel): "Thanks!"
The vendor smiles slightly to himself as she walks away.

Alt text

A seven-panel SMBC comic. A man in a dark suit and sunglasses approaches a red-haired woman on a brick-walled street and asks, "Would you like to buy my productivity app?" She says "What?" He replies, "I have a box of them. I'll sell you one for five dollars." She examines it: "This is just a piece of cardboard that says 'Nobody cares about your opinions.'" He says, "Try putting it on your screen." She holds the hand-lettered cardboard card up against her laptop. Overcome, she says, "This will save seven hours a day. You've done something amazing! You --" The final panel shows the deadpan vendor standing with his box of identical cardboard cards. The joke: a literal piece of cardboard reading 'Nobody cares about your opinions,' placed over a screen, functions as the ultimate productivity tool by stopping the user from wasting hours arguing online. Votey: The woman calls out "Thanks!" as she leaves, and the vendor allows himself a small private smile.

Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.