mating
Original: mating on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (orange/blonde hair): I know it's only our first date, and maybe this'll sound forward, but I want to express that if we were to mate I would be a powerful provider of food and a defeater of foes.
Panel 2:
Woman (dark hair, glasses, red turtleneck): In the modern world, foes are few and calories are cheap.
Man: Oh hell, who told girls about that?
Panel 3:
Woman: Your mating approach really isn't suited to modern life. Have you considered offering debt forgiveness? Healthcare? Rent-controlled housing?
Panel 4:
Man: But I don't have scarce resources! Just regular ones!
Woman: Then good day to you, sir.
Votey:
Man (thinking, looking dejected): Maybe if I'd brought her meat she would have been more interested...
Man (orange/blonde hair): I know it's only our first date, and maybe this'll sound forward, but I want to express that if we were to mate I would be a powerful provider of food and a defeater of foes.
Panel 2:
Woman (dark hair, glasses, red turtleneck): In the modern world, foes are few and calories are cheap.
Man: Oh hell, who told girls about that?
Panel 3:
Woman: Your mating approach really isn't suited to modern life. Have you considered offering debt forgiveness? Healthcare? Rent-controlled housing?
Panel 4:
Man: But I don't have scarce resources! Just regular ones!
Woman: Then good day to you, sir.
Votey:
Man (thinking, looking dejected): Maybe if I'd brought her meat she would have been more interested...
Alt text
A four-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: A blonde man on a first date says, "I know it's only our first date, and maybe this'll sound forward, but I want to express that if we were to mate I would be a powerful provider of food and a defeater of foes." Panel 2: A woman with dark hair, glasses, and a red turtleneck replies, "In the modern world, foes are few and calories are cheap." The man, alarmed, says, "Oh hell, who told girls about that?" Panel 3: The woman continues, "Your mating approach really isn't suited to modern life. Have you considered offering debt forgiveness? Healthcare? Rent-controlled housing?" Panel 4: The man protests, "But I don't have scarce resources! Just regular ones!" The woman, getting up to leave, says, "Then good day to you, sir." Votey (aftercomic): The dejected man thinks to himself, "Maybe if I'd brought her meat she would have been more interested..."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.