treadmill
Original: treadmill on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Knight: Dragon King! Give back the princess!
Dragon: Never! I will have all the destiny crystals and rule the world!
Panel 2:
Knight: Look, the sociology literature suggests you'll just be on the "hedonic treadmill."
Panel 3:
(The knight holds up a sheaf of papers next to the dragon's snout.)
Knight: Sure, at first you'll be happy you've enslaved man and dwarf and elf and cast a dread shadow over all Imaginaria. But, then what?
Panel 4:
Knight: You'll just be in a steady condition. You'll get bored, then sad, then anxious, then self-hating.
Panel 5:
(Close-up of the dragon's face, looking pensive.)
Panel 6:
Caption: Epochs later...
(The dragon lies forlorn in a barren landscape, a small crown nearby.)
Dragon: I should've run away with that art school girl in college instead of enslaving the universe.
Votey:
(A whale, viewed from the side.)
Whale: I'm gonna binge-eat some elves and regret it all day tomorrow.
Knight: Dragon King! Give back the princess!
Dragon: Never! I will have all the destiny crystals and rule the world!
Panel 2:
Knight: Look, the sociology literature suggests you'll just be on the "hedonic treadmill."
Panel 3:
(The knight holds up a sheaf of papers next to the dragon's snout.)
Knight: Sure, at first you'll be happy you've enslaved man and dwarf and elf and cast a dread shadow over all Imaginaria. But, then what?
Panel 4:
Knight: You'll just be in a steady condition. You'll get bored, then sad, then anxious, then self-hating.
Panel 5:
(Close-up of the dragon's face, looking pensive.)
Panel 6:
Caption: Epochs later...
(The dragon lies forlorn in a barren landscape, a small crown nearby.)
Dragon: I should've run away with that art school girl in college instead of enslaving the universe.
Votey:
(A whale, viewed from the side.)
Whale: I'm gonna binge-eat some elves and regret it all day tomorrow.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A knight in gray armor with a red cape confronts a green dragon lounging on a sandy dune. Knight: "Dragon King! Give back the princess!" Dragon: "Never! I will have all the destiny crystals and rule the world!" Instead of fighting, the knight calmly tries to talk the dragon out of villainy using social science, holding up a sheaf of papers: "Look, the sociology literature suggests you'll just be on the 'hedonic treadmill.' Sure, at first you'll be happy you've enslaved man and dwarf and elf and cast a dread shadow over all Imaginaria. But, then what? You'll just be in a steady condition. You'll get bored, then sad, then anxious, then self-hating." The dragon's face turns thoughtful. Final panel, captioned "Epochs later...": the dragon lies alone and dejected in a desolate land with a fallen crown, lamenting, "I should've run away with that art school girl in college instead of enslaving the universe." Votey: a side view of a whale that says, "I'm gonna binge-eat some elves and regret it all day tomorrow."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.