thief
Original: thief on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Old woman (clutching purse): HELP! MY PURSE!
Panel 2:
Mugger (masked man in red): BACK OFF, CROOK!
(A blue-and-yellow superhero swoops in.)
Panel 3:
Superhero (handing purse back): HERE YOU ARE, MA'AM!
Panel 4:
Old woman: HOW WERE YOU SO FAST?
Superhero: I WASN'T.
Panel 5:
Superhero: YOU WERE BOTH JUST GLUED TO YOUR PHONES DURING THE ENTIRE MUGGING.
Panel 6:
Superhero: IN FACT, THE CRIMINAL HASN'T EVEN REALIZED I TOOK BACK THE PURSE.
(Small inset: the mugger looks at his phone, thought bubble: CELEBRITIES ARE DUMB.)
Panel 7:
Old woman: BUT HOW.
Panel 8:
Old woman: HOW.
Panel 9:
Old woman: WHAT THE?
Panel 10:
Old woman (looking at her phone): HE DISAPPEARED SOMEHOW!
Text on phone screen: LEAVE HIM, JENNIFER! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
Votey:
Caption: later...
(A skeleton sits slumped, still holding a phone/papers — having died still staring at the screen.)
Old woman (clutching purse): HELP! MY PURSE!
Panel 2:
Mugger (masked man in red): BACK OFF, CROOK!
(A blue-and-yellow superhero swoops in.)
Panel 3:
Superhero (handing purse back): HERE YOU ARE, MA'AM!
Panel 4:
Old woman: HOW WERE YOU SO FAST?
Superhero: I WASN'T.
Panel 5:
Superhero: YOU WERE BOTH JUST GLUED TO YOUR PHONES DURING THE ENTIRE MUGGING.
Panel 6:
Superhero: IN FACT, THE CRIMINAL HASN'T EVEN REALIZED I TOOK BACK THE PURSE.
(Small inset: the mugger looks at his phone, thought bubble: CELEBRITIES ARE DUMB.)
Panel 7:
Old woman: BUT HOW.
Panel 8:
Old woman: HOW.
Panel 9:
Old woman: WHAT THE?
Panel 10:
Old woman (looking at her phone): HE DISAPPEARED SOMEHOW!
Text on phone screen: LEAVE HIM, JENNIFER! HE DOESN'T LOVE YOU!
Votey:
Caption: later...
(A skeleton sits slumped, still holding a phone/papers — having died still staring at the screen.)
Alt text
A ten-panel SMBC comic. An old woman cries 'Help! My purse!' as a masked mugger grabs it. A blue-and-yellow superhero swoops in shouting 'Back off, crook!' and instantly returns the purse: 'Here you are, ma'am!' The woman asks how he was so fast. He says he wasn't — 'You were both just glued to your phones during the entire mugging. In fact, the criminal hasn't even realized I took back the purse.' (An inset shows the mugger staring at his phone, thinking 'Celebrities are dumb.') The bewildered woman mutters 'But how. How. What the?' while staring at her own phone, whose screen reads 'Leave him, Jennifer! He doesn't love you!' She concludes 'He disappeared somehow!' — never having looked up. Votey: captioned 'later...', a skeleton sits slumped, still clutching the phone, having died while still staring at the screen.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.