e-stalking-2
Original: e-stalking-2 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man: Since we've been making dates, I confess that I stalked you. To check... these days.
Panel 2:
Woman: Heh well, I guess you can't be too careful, these days.
Panel 3:
Man: Exactly! Though I did feel like a bit of a creep doing things like figuring out your apartment layout.
Woman: Wait... what?!
Panel 4:
Man: It's e-stalking! E for "ether." Like, you get someone to make ether, then take brain samples and DNA samples from their home.
Woman: The E is for... electronic.
Man: This would make a really funny story for the kids one day!
Votey:
Man: Anyway... say, does this handkerchief smell funny to you?
(The man holds out a handkerchief toward the woman, who looks alarmed and is sweating.)
Man: Since we've been making dates, I confess that I stalked you. To check... these days.
Panel 2:
Woman: Heh well, I guess you can't be too careful, these days.
Panel 3:
Man: Exactly! Though I did feel like a bit of a creep doing things like figuring out your apartment layout.
Woman: Wait... what?!
Panel 4:
Man: It's e-stalking! E for "ether." Like, you get someone to make ether, then take brain samples and DNA samples from their home.
Woman: The E is for... electronic.
Man: This would make a really funny story for the kids one day!
Votey:
Man: Anyway... say, does this handkerchief smell funny to you?
(The man holds out a handkerchief toward the woman, who looks alarmed and is sweating.)
Alt text
A four-panel black-and-white SMBC comic. A man and a woman are on a date. In panel one, the man cheerfully confesses he stalked the woman because "you can't be too careful these days." The woman agrees, assuming he means a normal online background check. The man keeps explaining that he felt like a creep figuring out her apartment layout, and the woman startles with "Wait... what?!" In the final panel the man clarifies that he means literal stalking involving ether, brain samples, and DNA from her home, while the woman, horrified, says "The E is for... electronic." He obliviously thinks it will be a funny story for their future kids. In the votey (bonus panel below), the man leans in holding out a handkerchief and asks, "Anyway... say, does this handkerchief smell funny to you?" The woman recoils, sweating, as it becomes clear he is about to chloroform her.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.