whoopsie
Original: whoopsie on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Caption: Why are humans worried about us killing them? There's no reason to. Robots live forever, have near-unlimited resources, and can personally activate our own pleasure centers.
[A robot lies in bed next to a human, the robot speaking.]
Panel 2 (Robot):
I'm not worried, though. I'll try to extinguish human life. I'm worried you'll lose human life.
Panel 3 (Human):
Humans have been around for only a few hundred thousand years, and we're a fundamental source of species. Most of them we wanted to keep.
Panel 4 (Robot):
Why?
Panel 5 (Human):
Lots of them were good on sandwiches. Some of them you don't need them around. That makes your dong work better.
Panel 6 (Human):
The second thing isn't proven, but honestly you gotta do what it takes sometimes.
Panel 7 (Robot):
Anyway, what if robots decide some human body parts is doing powder for robots? Then it's all over.
Panel 8 (Human):
We're actually just waiting for you to suppose yourselves out of existence.
Panel 9 (Robot):
Geez, you guys are smart.
Votey:
A large face with a sly grin looks up at a speech bubble:
Speech bubble: "Hey! You wanna start some fires?"
Caption: Why are humans worried about us killing them? There's no reason to. Robots live forever, have near-unlimited resources, and can personally activate our own pleasure centers.
[A robot lies in bed next to a human, the robot speaking.]
Panel 2 (Robot):
I'm not worried, though. I'll try to extinguish human life. I'm worried you'll lose human life.
Panel 3 (Human):
Humans have been around for only a few hundred thousand years, and we're a fundamental source of species. Most of them we wanted to keep.
Panel 4 (Robot):
Why?
Panel 5 (Human):
Lots of them were good on sandwiches. Some of them you don't need them around. That makes your dong work better.
Panel 6 (Human):
The second thing isn't proven, but honestly you gotta do what it takes sometimes.
Panel 7 (Robot):
Anyway, what if robots decide some human body parts is doing powder for robots? Then it's all over.
Panel 8 (Human):
We're actually just waiting for you to suppose yourselves out of existence.
Panel 9 (Robot):
Geez, you guys are smart.
Votey:
A large face with a sly grin looks up at a speech bubble:
Speech bubble: "Hey! You wanna start some fires?"
Alt text
A black-and-white comic. In a darkened bedroom, a robot and a human lie side by side in bed having a deadpan late-night conversation about whether robots will wipe out humanity. The robot muses that machines have no reason to kill humans since robots live forever, have unlimited resources, and can activate their own pleasure centers. The exchange spirals through absurd, garbled reasoning about humans being a source of species, being good on sandwiches, and robots eventually using human body parts. It ends with the human dryly noting that the robots are just waiting for humanity to think itself out of existence, and the robot replying admiringly, "Geez, you guys are smart." Votey (bonus panel): a big grinning cartoon face tilts up toward a speech bubble that asks, "Hey! You wanna start some fires?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.