love-book
Original: love-book on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Top banner (handwritten author note, signed "Zach"):
HEY GEEKS! THE COMIC BELOW IS AN AD FOR TWO NEW BOOKS I'M RELEASING TODAY. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, PLEASE READ OR JUST CLICK HERE TO GO CHECK IT OUT. IF THAT'S NOT YOUR THING, JUST PRESS "Z" TWICE TO GET TODAY'S DOUBLE UPDATE.
[signed] Zach
Panel 1 (a bearded man with long orange hair):
Man: I'VE GOT A NEW PAIR OF BOOKS OUT, AND I WANT TO LET MY READERS KNOW IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T SEEM DOUCHEY.
Panel 2 (a woman with brown hair and glasses, wearing an "xkcd" t-shirt, standing behind him):
Woman: JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE THEM A NICE LETTER.
Panel 3 (the man holding a pencil, thinking).
Panel 4 (the man writing at a desk):
Letter: "Dear readers,"
Panel 5 (close-up of the man):
Letter: "It's me, the funniest cartoonist of a generation."
Panel 6 (the woman, excited):
Woman: A LETTER ALREADY CAME BACK!
Panel 7 (the man reading a letter):
Letter: "Dear Matt Inman, OHMYGOD I don't usually get starstruck but WOW! WOW!"
Panel 8 (the woman holding up the returned letter, smiling):
Woman: YOU PROBABLY SHOULD'VE SPECIFIED YOUR NAME.
Panel 9 (the man):
Man: NO, NO, THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY! THEY'RE LISTENING. WHEN THEY FIND OUT IT'S ME, THEY'LL BE BLOWN AWAY!
Panel 10 (the man writing):
Letter: "I've put together a collection of my finest comics on love, sex, dating, and relationships. AND, I've abridged all of Shakespeare's sonnets into a pocket-sized book."
Panel 11 (the man writing):
Letter: "Did you know the first 17 sonnets are written to convince an attractive young man to make more babies? And there are several just about Shakespeare's wiener. And 26 of them are mostly negging a married woman into sleeping with him. And there's a coda that's probably about how he got a venereal disease."
Panel 12 (the woman, smiling):
Woman: A LETTER CAME BACK!
Panel 13 (the man reading):
Letter: "We thought you were writing a nice letter, but then it turned into rambling about Shakespeare's penis."
Panel 14 (the man reading the letter).
Panels 15-16 (the man, dejected, looking down).
Final letter panel (the man writing at his desk):
Letter: "Sincerely, Matt Inman"
Ad panel (blue background):
Text: Available now!
Book 1 cover: LOVE (AND ALSO SEX, DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS): RUINING EVERYTHING SINCE 3.2 BILLION BC. A COLLECTION OF ROMANTIC COMICS. BY ZACH WEINERSMITH.
Book 2 cover: SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS ABRIDGED.
Starburst button: Click here!
Small text: (thanks, geeks!)
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): "This is how letters work."
A simple line-drawing of the bearded long-haired man's face.
HEY GEEKS! THE COMIC BELOW IS AN AD FOR TWO NEW BOOKS I'M RELEASING TODAY. IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, PLEASE READ OR JUST CLICK HERE TO GO CHECK IT OUT. IF THAT'S NOT YOUR THING, JUST PRESS "Z" TWICE TO GET TODAY'S DOUBLE UPDATE.
[signed] Zach
Panel 1 (a bearded man with long orange hair):
Man: I'VE GOT A NEW PAIR OF BOOKS OUT, AND I WANT TO LET MY READERS KNOW IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T SEEM DOUCHEY.
Panel 2 (a woman with brown hair and glasses, wearing an "xkcd" t-shirt, standing behind him):
Woman: JUST SIT DOWN AND WRITE THEM A NICE LETTER.
Panel 3 (the man holding a pencil, thinking).
Panel 4 (the man writing at a desk):
Letter: "Dear readers,"
Panel 5 (close-up of the man):
Letter: "It's me, the funniest cartoonist of a generation."
Panel 6 (the woman, excited):
Woman: A LETTER ALREADY CAME BACK!
Panel 7 (the man reading a letter):
Letter: "Dear Matt Inman, OHMYGOD I don't usually get starstruck but WOW! WOW!"
Panel 8 (the woman holding up the returned letter, smiling):
Woman: YOU PROBABLY SHOULD'VE SPECIFIED YOUR NAME.
Panel 9 (the man):
Man: NO, NO, THIS IS AN OPPORTUNITY! THEY'RE LISTENING. WHEN THEY FIND OUT IT'S ME, THEY'LL BE BLOWN AWAY!
Panel 10 (the man writing):
Letter: "I've put together a collection of my finest comics on love, sex, dating, and relationships. AND, I've abridged all of Shakespeare's sonnets into a pocket-sized book."
Panel 11 (the man writing):
Letter: "Did you know the first 17 sonnets are written to convince an attractive young man to make more babies? And there are several just about Shakespeare's wiener. And 26 of them are mostly negging a married woman into sleeping with him. And there's a coda that's probably about how he got a venereal disease."
Panel 12 (the woman, smiling):
Woman: A LETTER CAME BACK!
Panel 13 (the man reading):
Letter: "We thought you were writing a nice letter, but then it turned into rambling about Shakespeare's penis."
Panel 14 (the man reading the letter).
Panels 15-16 (the man, dejected, looking down).
Final letter panel (the man writing at his desk):
Letter: "Sincerely, Matt Inman"
Ad panel (blue background):
Text: Available now!
Book 1 cover: LOVE (AND ALSO SEX, DATING AND RELATIONSHIPS): RUINING EVERYTHING SINCE 3.2 BILLION BC. A COLLECTION OF ROMANTIC COMICS. BY ZACH WEINERSMITH.
Book 2 cover: SHAKESPEARE'S SONNETS ABRIDGED.
Starburst button: Click here!
Small text: (thanks, geeks!)
Votey:
Caption (handwritten): "This is how letters work."
A simple line-drawing of the bearded long-haired man's face.
Alt text
A tall SMBC comic. A handwritten note at the top, signed "Zach," tells readers the comic below is an ad for two new books and to press "Z" twice for a double update instead if they're not interested.
In the comic, a bearded man with long orange hair tells a brown-haired woman in glasses (her shirt reads "xkcd") that he wants to tell his readers about his new pair of books without seeming douchey. She suggests he just write them a nice letter. He sits at a desk and writes: "Dear readers, It's me, the funniest cartoonist of a generation." The woman excitedly announces a letter already came back. He reads it: "Dear Matt Inman, OHMYGOD I don't usually get starstruck but WOW! WOW!" She points out he should have specified his name, but he insists it's an opportunity and they'll be blown away when they find out it's him.
He keeps writing, describing his collection of romantic comics and his pocket-sized abridgement of Shakespeare's sonnets, then rambles that the first 17 sonnets push an attractive young man to make babies, several are about Shakespeare's "wiener," 26 are negging a married woman into bed, and there's a coda about a venereal disease. Another letter comes back: "We thought you were writing a nice letter, but then it turned into rambling about Shakespeare's penis." Dejected, he signs his final letter "Sincerely, Matt Inman" — confirming the joke that he keeps signing as the wrong cartoonist (Matt Inman of The Oatmeal, not himself, Zach Weinersmith).
A blue ad panel at the bottom reads "Available now!" and shows two book covers: "LOVE (and also sex, dating and relationships): Ruining everything since 3.2 billion BC — A Collection of Romantic Comics by Zach Weinersmith," and "Shakespeare's Sonnets Abridged," with a starburst "Click here!" button and small text "(thanks, geeks!)."
Votey: A plain black-and-white line drawing of the bearded man's face, captioned in handwriting "This is how letters work."
In the comic, a bearded man with long orange hair tells a brown-haired woman in glasses (her shirt reads "xkcd") that he wants to tell his readers about his new pair of books without seeming douchey. She suggests he just write them a nice letter. He sits at a desk and writes: "Dear readers, It's me, the funniest cartoonist of a generation." The woman excitedly announces a letter already came back. He reads it: "Dear Matt Inman, OHMYGOD I don't usually get starstruck but WOW! WOW!" She points out he should have specified his name, but he insists it's an opportunity and they'll be blown away when they find out it's him.
He keeps writing, describing his collection of romantic comics and his pocket-sized abridgement of Shakespeare's sonnets, then rambles that the first 17 sonnets push an attractive young man to make babies, several are about Shakespeare's "wiener," 26 are negging a married woman into bed, and there's a coda about a venereal disease. Another letter comes back: "We thought you were writing a nice letter, but then it turned into rambling about Shakespeare's penis." Dejected, he signs his final letter "Sincerely, Matt Inman" — confirming the joke that he keeps signing as the wrong cartoonist (Matt Inman of The Oatmeal, not himself, Zach Weinersmith).
A blue ad panel at the bottom reads "Available now!" and shows two book covers: "LOVE (and also sex, dating and relationships): Ruining everything since 3.2 billion BC — A Collection of Romantic Comics by Zach Weinersmith," and "Shakespeare's Sonnets Abridged," with a starburst "Click here!" button and small text "(thanks, geeks!)."
Votey: A plain black-and-white line drawing of the bearded man's face, captioned in handwriting "This is how letters work."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.