sob
Original: sob on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child (young girl, brown hair): Ow! Son of a bitch! My toe!
Mother (long dark hair, glasses): Don't say that word!
Panel 2:
Mother: Say "son of a gun" if you must.
Child: That's way more offensive!
Panel 3:
Mother: Do you know the etymology of "son of a gun"?
Panel 4:
Mother: The British navy used to allow women on ships. Sometimes a woman would give birth onboard, but nobody would know exactly who the father was. "Gun" was slang for a military guy. Hence, the kid would be called "son of a gun."
Panel 5:
Child: So you're telling me not to say "your mom is a dog," and instead say "your mom gave birth to you after having unprotected sex with a boat full of sailors, none of whom claimed you."
Panel 6:
Child: Son of a bitch!
Votey:
Mother (thinking, off to the side): We can only hope that in a more perfect future, "son of a gun" refers to human-gun hybrids.
Child (young girl, brown hair): Ow! Son of a bitch! My toe!
Mother (long dark hair, glasses): Don't say that word!
Panel 2:
Mother: Say "son of a gun" if you must.
Child: That's way more offensive!
Panel 3:
Mother: Do you know the etymology of "son of a gun"?
Panel 4:
Mother: The British navy used to allow women on ships. Sometimes a woman would give birth onboard, but nobody would know exactly who the father was. "Gun" was slang for a military guy. Hence, the kid would be called "son of a gun."
Panel 5:
Child: So you're telling me not to say "your mom is a dog," and instead say "your mom gave birth to you after having unprotected sex with a boat full of sailors, none of whom claimed you."
Panel 6:
Child: Son of a bitch!
Votey:
Mother (thinking, off to the side): We can only hope that in a more perfect future, "son of a gun" refers to human-gun hybrids.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A young girl with brown hair stubs her toe and yells "Son of a bitch! My toe!" Her mother, a woman with long dark hair and round glasses, scolds: "Don't say that word! Say 'son of a gun' if you must." The girl protests that "son of a gun" is way more offensive. The mother explains the etymology: the British navy used to allow women on ships; sometimes a woman gave birth onboard but nobody knew who the father was, and "gun" was slang for a military man, so the child would be called "son of a gun." The girl deadpans: so instead of saying "your mom is a dog," she should say "your mom gave birth to you after having unprotected sex with a boat full of sailors, none of whom claimed you." Then she simply yells "Son of a bitch!" again. Votey: a close-up of the mother looking thoughtful, thinking, "We can only hope that in a more perfect future, 'son of a gun' refers to human-gun hybrids."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.