gotham
Original: gotham on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A nighttime city skyline. A caption box reads "GOTHAM CITY".
Panel 2: A dark alley. A well-dressed family (a man, a woman, and a young boy in a red cap) walks past a shadowy figure in a hat and coat.
Panel 3: The figure fires a gun twice. Large sound effects: "BANG BANG".
Panel 4: The young boy cries out.
Boy: MOM! DAD!
Panel 5: The boy, now shown grinning, makes a vow. A second well-dressed man (a witness/companion) stands beside him.
Boy: I WILL AVENGE THIS. I WILL BE A FORCE FOR JUSTICE IN THE--
Second man: IT'S OKAY! I'M FINE. JUST A BIT WINGED. BULLET JUST GRAZED MY CIGARETTE CASE.
Panel 6: Reaction shots.
Boy: OH WELL. THAT'S LUCKY THEN.
Woman (off-panel/other parent): ME TOO!
Panel 7: Caption: "ANOTHER 0 GIN AND TONICS LATER". An older Bruce, now a grown man in a suit, lounges with a drink, looking dissolute.
Bruce: MY LIFE IS POINTLESS.
[The joke: Because his parents survived the mugging, Bruce never becomes Batman, and instead grows up into an aimless, drunk rich man with no purpose.]
Votey:
A man (grown Bruce) with a long sad face and downcast eyes. Above and around him, fragments of an imagined conversation / inner monologue float as text:
"...Four, then?"
"...then?"
"Four, then?"
Panel 2: A dark alley. A well-dressed family (a man, a woman, and a young boy in a red cap) walks past a shadowy figure in a hat and coat.
Panel 3: The figure fires a gun twice. Large sound effects: "BANG BANG".
Panel 4: The young boy cries out.
Boy: MOM! DAD!
Panel 5: The boy, now shown grinning, makes a vow. A second well-dressed man (a witness/companion) stands beside him.
Boy: I WILL AVENGE THIS. I WILL BE A FORCE FOR JUSTICE IN THE--
Second man: IT'S OKAY! I'M FINE. JUST A BIT WINGED. BULLET JUST GRAZED MY CIGARETTE CASE.
Panel 6: Reaction shots.
Boy: OH WELL. THAT'S LUCKY THEN.
Woman (off-panel/other parent): ME TOO!
Panel 7: Caption: "ANOTHER 0 GIN AND TONICS LATER". An older Bruce, now a grown man in a suit, lounges with a drink, looking dissolute.
Bruce: MY LIFE IS POINTLESS.
[The joke: Because his parents survived the mugging, Bruce never becomes Batman, and instead grows up into an aimless, drunk rich man with no purpose.]
Votey:
A man (grown Bruce) with a long sad face and downcast eyes. Above and around him, fragments of an imagined conversation / inner monologue float as text:
"...Four, then?"
"...then?"
"Four, then?"
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic riffing on Batman's origin. Panel 1: a caption "GOTHAM CITY" over a dark city skyline. Panels 2-3: a wealthy family (parents and a boy in a red cap) walk down an alley and a shadowy mugger fires a gun twice ("BANG BANG"). Panel 4: the boy cries "MOM! DAD!". Panel 5: the boy grins and vows, "I WILL AVENGE THIS. I WILL BE A FORCE FOR JUSTICE IN THE--" but is cut off when his companion says, "IT'S OKAY! I'M FINE. JUST A BIT WINGED. BULLET JUST GRAZED MY CIGARETTE CASE." Panel 6: the boy deflates, "OH WELL. THAT'S LUCKY THEN," and another parent adds "ME TOO!" Panel 7, captioned "ANOTHER 0 GIN AND TONICS LATER," shows a grown Bruce lounging with a drink, declaring "MY LIFE IS POINTLESS" -- because his parents survived, he never became Batman and grew into a purposeless drunk. Votey: a close-up of grown Bruce with a long, sad face, surrounded by floating fragments of an aimless conversation, "...Four, then?"
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.