evolution-4
Original: evolution-4 on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A planet-like orange disc (Earth, with a cratered moon nearby) floating against a sky of clouds. A voice from off-panel (God) speaks.
God: "Okay, I've let evolution run long enough. Let's go see what's down there!"
Panel 2: A close-up of a large brown-and-orange spider with big eyes, seen from below against a green leaf background.
God (off-panel): "Whatcha up to, Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga?"
Panel 3: A wasp (Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga) explaining its plan.
Wasp: "Putting my stinger inside this spider's mouth to paralyze him. Then, I'm gonna lay my eggs on its abdomen."
Panel 4: The wasp continues, with musical notes drawn nearby suggesting cheerfulness.
Wasp: "With any luck, they'll hatch soon and begin sucking the precious hemolymph out of its still-living body."
Panel 5: Earth (the orange cratered disc) floating in the clouds again.
God: "Okay, this time asteroids AND flooding."
Panel 6: A small cartoon angel floating in the clouds, looking unimpressed, with arms raised.
Angel: "I TOLD you to stick with the dinosaurs, man."
Votey:
A single panel: God speaks from off-panel above a blank cratered planet/disc (a fresh, empty world).
God: "Ugh. Let's just do what we did to Mars."
God: "Okay, I've let evolution run long enough. Let's go see what's down there!"
Panel 2: A close-up of a large brown-and-orange spider with big eyes, seen from below against a green leaf background.
God (off-panel): "Whatcha up to, Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga?"
Panel 3: A wasp (Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga) explaining its plan.
Wasp: "Putting my stinger inside this spider's mouth to paralyze him. Then, I'm gonna lay my eggs on its abdomen."
Panel 4: The wasp continues, with musical notes drawn nearby suggesting cheerfulness.
Wasp: "With any luck, they'll hatch soon and begin sucking the precious hemolymph out of its still-living body."
Panel 5: Earth (the orange cratered disc) floating in the clouds again.
God: "Okay, this time asteroids AND flooding."
Panel 6: A small cartoon angel floating in the clouds, looking unimpressed, with arms raised.
Angel: "I TOLD you to stick with the dinosaurs, man."
Votey:
A single panel: God speaks from off-panel above a blank cratered planet/disc (a fresh, empty world).
God: "Ugh. Let's just do what we did to Mars."
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: an orange cratered disc representing Earth floats in a cloudy sky beside a small moon. God says from off-panel, 'Okay, I've let evolution run long enough. Let's go see what's down there!' Panel 2: a close-up of a large brown spider with big eyes on a green leaf; God asks, 'Whatcha up to, Hymenoepimecis argyraphaga?' Panel 3: a wasp answers, 'Putting my stinger inside this spider's mouth to paralyze him. Then, I'm gonna lay my eggs on its abdomen.' Panel 4: the wasp continues cheerfully (music notes drawn beside it), 'With any luck, they'll hatch soon and begin sucking the precious hemolymph out of its still-living body.' Panel 5: Earth floats in the clouds again as God says, 'Okay, this time asteroids AND flooding.' Panel 6: a tiny cartoon angel in the clouds replies, exasperated, 'I TOLD you to stick with the dinosaurs, man.' The joke: God, horrified by the gruesome parasitic wasp, decides to wipe out life again. Votey (aftercomic): a single panel showing a blank cratered planet while God sighs from off-panel, 'Ugh. Let's just do what we did to Mars.'—implying total sterilization.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.