placenta
Original: placenta on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A doctor in a white coat (a woman with glasses) speaks gravely to a couple.
Doctor: "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I'm afraid the baby is pulling against its own umbilicus."
Panel 2: The expectant parents react, alarmed.
Parent: "What?! Why?!"
Panel 3: The doctor continues, reading from a clipboard.
Doctor: "Having observed the ultrasound, we believe she's analyzing its elastic modulus so that she can use it to build a catapult."
Panel 4: The doctor, wide-eyed, delivers the verdict.
Doctor: "She's going to be an engineer!"
Panel 5: The parents embrace, distraught. The doctor reassures them from the side.
Parent (blonde woman): "But..."
Parent (man): "But that means..."
Parent: "No..."
Doctor: "It's okay! She can still live a full life!"
Votey:
A close-up of the doctor's face, eyes wide and mouth tight, struggling to keep her composure.
Thought bubble (doctor): "Keep a straight face..."
Doctor: "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I'm afraid the baby is pulling against its own umbilicus."
Panel 2: The expectant parents react, alarmed.
Parent: "What?! Why?!"
Panel 3: The doctor continues, reading from a clipboard.
Doctor: "Having observed the ultrasound, we believe she's analyzing its elastic modulus so that she can use it to build a catapult."
Panel 4: The doctor, wide-eyed, delivers the verdict.
Doctor: "She's going to be an engineer!"
Panel 5: The parents embrace, distraught. The doctor reassures them from the side.
Parent (blonde woman): "But..."
Parent (man): "But that means..."
Parent: "No..."
Doctor: "It's okay! She can still live a full life!"
Votey:
A close-up of the doctor's face, eyes wide and mouth tight, struggling to keep her composure.
Thought bubble (doctor): "Keep a straight face..."
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic parodying a doctor delivering a grim diagnosis. A bespectacled woman doctor in a white coat tells an expectant couple, "I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news. I'm afraid the baby is pulling against its own umbilicus." The parents cry "What?! Why?!" The doctor explains from a clipboard: "Having observed the ultrasound, we believe she's analyzing its elastic modulus so that she can use it to build a catapult." Wide-eyed, she announces the dreaded verdict: "She's going to be an engineer!" The parents clutch each other in despair ("But...", "But that means...", "No...") while the doctor offers consolation: "It's okay! She can still live a full life!" The joke treats becoming an engineer as a tragic medical diagnosis. Votey: a close-up of the doctor's face, eyes bulging and lips pressed together, with a thought bubble reading "Keep a straight face..." as she barely holds back laughter while delivering the news.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.