smaug
Original: smaug on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A person stands before a dragon reclining on a hoard of gold inside a cave.
Person: But Smaug, why do you need all this gold?
Dragon (Smaug): Gold is historically a very stable investment!
Panel 2:
Person: That's not true! Gold is quite volatile. Sure, it's stable against apocalyptic scenarios, but in those cases you'll want food, not metal!
Panel 3:
Person: My God, Smaug, with all this gold you could've invested in productive assets - fishing boats, trading ventures, a sawmill on the local river!
Panel 4:
Dragon (Smaug): Life isn't about getting the most money! It's about getting the most utility for yourself and others! Go forth Smaug! Go and spend!
Panel 5 (caption): SOON...
The dragon, now standing, addresses a small figure.
Dragon (Smaug): There was a weak spot on his armor, so I killed him.
Panel 6: A burning town by a river, with a body lying near the water and a small figure standing beside it.
Dragon (Smaug): The market has spoken.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text in a panel: SMAUG DID NOTHING WRONG
Person: But Smaug, why do you need all this gold?
Dragon (Smaug): Gold is historically a very stable investment!
Panel 2:
Person: That's not true! Gold is quite volatile. Sure, it's stable against apocalyptic scenarios, but in those cases you'll want food, not metal!
Panel 3:
Person: My God, Smaug, with all this gold you could've invested in productive assets - fishing boats, trading ventures, a sawmill on the local river!
Panel 4:
Dragon (Smaug): Life isn't about getting the most money! It's about getting the most utility for yourself and others! Go forth Smaug! Go and spend!
Panel 5 (caption): SOON...
The dragon, now standing, addresses a small figure.
Dragon (Smaug): There was a weak spot on his armor, so I killed him.
Panel 6: A burning town by a river, with a body lying near the water and a small figure standing beside it.
Dragon (Smaug): The market has spoken.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text in a panel: SMAUG DID NOTHING WRONG
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. A small person stands before the dragon Smaug, who lounges on a pile of gold in a cave. The person quizzes the dragon about why he hoards gold, arguing it is a volatile investment and that he could instead fund productive assets like fishing boats or a sawmill. Smaug enthusiastically agrees, declaring that life is about getting the most utility for himself and others, and shouts 'Go forth Smaug! Go and spend!' A caption reads 'SOON...' and the next panel shows Smaug now standing and explaining, 'There was a weak spot on his armor, so I killed him.' The final panel shows a burning town by a river with the person's body lying on the ground, as Smaug concludes, 'The market has spoken.' The joke: the dragon takes the economic advice to 'spend' and pursue utility by simply murdering his economic adviser. Votey aftercomic: a single hand-lettered panel reading 'SMAUG DID NOTHING WRONG.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.