dying-wish
Original: dying-wish on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Older man (lying back, glasses): When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes put under an apple tree.
Panel 2:
Older man: Then, wait a season. Let the tree consume those nutrients. Let it draw me into itself and produce fruit, thereby showing that there is not old nor new, only changing forms.
Panel 3:
Older man: Then harvest those apples and turn them into a sweet cider.
Panel 4:
Older man: Invite my children over for cider and pork chops. Then, after they've eaten, stand and say "YOU'VE EATEN YOUR OWN MOTHER! YOU FOOLS! IT WAS YOUR OWN MOTHER!"
Panel 5:
Older man: They'll spend a few minutes crying and vomiting, then, you tell them about the whole apple tree thing!
Panel 6:
Younger man (dark hair, listening): I think we'll just have a normal funeral.
Older man: God, what is even the point of dying then?
Votey:
Older man (close-up, looking dejected): I guess I'll just live for another dumb 90 years.
Older man (lying back, glasses): When I die, I want to be cremated and have my ashes put under an apple tree.
Panel 2:
Older man: Then, wait a season. Let the tree consume those nutrients. Let it draw me into itself and produce fruit, thereby showing that there is not old nor new, only changing forms.
Panel 3:
Older man: Then harvest those apples and turn them into a sweet cider.
Panel 4:
Older man: Invite my children over for cider and pork chops. Then, after they've eaten, stand and say "YOU'VE EATEN YOUR OWN MOTHER! YOU FOOLS! IT WAS YOUR OWN MOTHER!"
Panel 5:
Older man: They'll spend a few minutes crying and vomiting, then, you tell them about the whole apple tree thing!
Panel 6:
Younger man (dark hair, listening): I think we'll just have a normal funeral.
Older man: God, what is even the point of dying then?
Votey:
Older man (close-up, looking dejected): I guess I'll just live for another dumb 90 years.
Alt text
A six-panel SMBC comic. An older man with glasses lies back, telling a younger dark-haired man his elaborate death wishes. He wants to be cremated and his ashes put under an apple tree; to wait a season so the tree consumes his nutrients and produces fruit, proving 'there is not old nor new, only changing forms'; then to harvest the apples into sweet cider. He wants his children invited over for cider and pork chops, and after they've eaten, for someone to stand and shout 'YOU'VE EATEN YOUR OWN MOTHER! YOU FOOLS!' He says they'll cry and vomit, and only then be told about the apple tree thing. The younger man flatly replies, 'I think we'll just have a normal funeral.' The older man, deflated, asks, 'God, what is even the point of dying then?' Votey: a close-up of the dejected older man saying, 'I guess I'll just live for another dumb 90 years.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.