noah39s-ark
Original: noah39s-ark on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman (with long hair): Dear God, I don't understand the moral of the story of Noah's Ark. If the bad people wanted to be evil, why not just eliminate them humanely? Why deprive the eco-system and kill those animals?
Panel 2:
Woman: Look, there was a crazy guy who decided to build a boat because he heard voices, he got his whole family crazy in a boat, and by dumb luck he turned out to be right.
Panel 3:
Woman: Oh, wow. You guys think there's a moral? I have a different theory about what happened.
Panel 4:
Woman: All modern humans come from one line, it's not a parable. I was just relaying the fact that you all descend from a family of paranoiacs.
Woman: That explains so much.
Man (off-panel, with flame-like hair): Deer and now you feel better about it?
Votey:
Man (with flame-like hair, thinking): I'm an inbred nutcase.
A reflection / mirror-like oval beside him reads: Relaxing, right?
Woman (with long hair): Dear God, I don't understand the moral of the story of Noah's Ark. If the bad people wanted to be evil, why not just eliminate them humanely? Why deprive the eco-system and kill those animals?
Panel 2:
Woman: Look, there was a crazy guy who decided to build a boat because he heard voices, he got his whole family crazy in a boat, and by dumb luck he turned out to be right.
Panel 3:
Woman: Oh, wow. You guys think there's a moral? I have a different theory about what happened.
Panel 4:
Woman: All modern humans come from one line, it's not a parable. I was just relaying the fact that you all descend from a family of paranoiacs.
Woman: That explains so much.
Man (off-panel, with flame-like hair): Deer and now you feel better about it?
Votey:
Man (with flame-like hair, thinking): I'm an inbred nutcase.
A reflection / mirror-like oval beside him reads: Relaxing, right?
Alt text
A four-panel black-and-white comic. A long-haired woman talks at length, complaining to God about the moral of Noah's Ark: why not eliminate evil people humanely instead of drowning them and killing all those animals and harming the ecosystem. She reframes the story as just a crazy guy who heard voices, dragged his whole family onto a boat, and got lucky being right. She concludes that all modern humans descend from one line of paranoiacs, and a companion deadpans 'That explains so much.' In the votey aftercomic, a man with flame-like hair thinks 'I'm an inbred nutcase,' next to an oval mirror-like shape labeled 'Relaxing, right?' The joke lands on the bleak realization that humanity descends from a paranoid survivor and how unsettling that is to sit with.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.