s
Original: s on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Man (brown-haired, interviewer): Superman, why do you spend the time to change your costume before saving the day?
Panel 2 (Superman, dark-haired man with a spit-curl):
Superman: It works.
Superman: Branding.
Panel 3:
Interviewer: But it takes like an extra ten seconds for you to change outfit. If there's a big fight going on, that probably costs lives.
Panel 4:
Superman: What costs lives is people not being aware of Superman.
Panel 5:
Superman: As long as all people, criminal or otherwise, are aware that an all-powerful man, beloved by all authority figures, is watching at all times, society is better off.
Panel 6:
Superman: I can spare a few lives at the margin as long as I am certain that whenever people sub-consciously stray into thoughts of disobedience, they instantly visualize a bright primary-colored "S", and the slogan "Truth, Justice, and the American way."
Panel 7:
Interviewer: That strikes me as vaguely fascist.
Panel 8:
Superman: You know, just a little -
Superman: Are you thinking of slandering a beloved public figure?
Panel 9:
Interviewer: This sounds like a job for Super-
Superman (panicked, ripping open his shirt collar): Nevermind! Nevermind!
Votey:
Superman (smiling smugly): I can tell by the way you've soiled yourself that you love justice.
Man (brown-haired, interviewer): Superman, why do you spend the time to change your costume before saving the day?
Panel 2 (Superman, dark-haired man with a spit-curl):
Superman: It works.
Superman: Branding.
Panel 3:
Interviewer: But it takes like an extra ten seconds for you to change outfit. If there's a big fight going on, that probably costs lives.
Panel 4:
Superman: What costs lives is people not being aware of Superman.
Panel 5:
Superman: As long as all people, criminal or otherwise, are aware that an all-powerful man, beloved by all authority figures, is watching at all times, society is better off.
Panel 6:
Superman: I can spare a few lives at the margin as long as I am certain that whenever people sub-consciously stray into thoughts of disobedience, they instantly visualize a bright primary-colored "S", and the slogan "Truth, Justice, and the American way."
Panel 7:
Interviewer: That strikes me as vaguely fascist.
Panel 8:
Superman: You know, just a little -
Superman: Are you thinking of slandering a beloved public figure?
Panel 9:
Interviewer: This sounds like a job for Super-
Superman (panicked, ripping open his shirt collar): Nevermind! Nevermind!
Votey:
Superman (smiling smugly): I can tell by the way you've soiled yourself that you love justice.
Alt text
A nine-panel SMBC comic. An interviewer asks Superman why he spends time changing into his costume before saving the day; Superman replies "It works" and "Branding." The interviewer points out the extra ten seconds of changing probably costs lives in a big fight. Superman argues that what really costs lives is people not being aware of Superman: as long as everyone knows an all-powerful man beloved by all authority figures is watching at all times, society is better off. He says he can spare a few lives at the margin so long as people, when straying toward disobedience, instantly visualize a bright primary-colored "S" and the slogan "Truth, Justice, and the American way." The interviewer says that strikes him as vaguely fascist. Superman, narrowing his eyes, asks if the interviewer is thinking of slandering a beloved public figure. The interviewer starts to say "This sounds like a job for Super-" and Superman panics, ripping open his shirt collar and shouting "Nevermind! Nevermind!" In the votey, a smug close-up of Superman says, "I can tell by the way you've soiled yourself that you love justice."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.