safety
Original: safety on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Risk-assessment robot (a boxy machine with a single round green light/eye): I AM A RISK ASSESSMENT BOT. I DISCOVER YOUR LEVEL OF RISK-AVERSION, THEN USE THAT TO DIRECT YOUR FUTURE BEHAVIOR.
Panel 2:
Robot: WHAT BEHAVIORS DO YOU AVOID?
Man (orange-haired man in a green shirt): WELL, I DON'T LIKE AIR TRAVEL.
Man: THAT'S A ONE IN A MILLION CHANCE OF DEATH.
Panel 3:
Robot: YOU ARE NOW ENCASED IN PROTECTIVE FOAM. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO PROVIDE THE LEVEL OF SAFETY YOU EXPERIENCE ON A PASSENGER JET.
Panel 4:
(The man is shown engulfed in a spray of foam, looking distressed, as the robot sprays him.)
Panel 5:
(The man is now completely encased in a solid block/mound of foam, motionless. The robot stands beside it.)
Panel 6:
Robot: MISTER JOHNSON?
Panel 7 (caption: LATER...):
Newspaper-style banner / caption: HE ASPHYXIATED
A man in a lab coat holds a tablet and gestures toward the small robot.
Lab-coat man: BUT, THE PROBABILITY OF BEING KILLED BY RISK-ASSESSMENT ROBOT WAS ZERO.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text on a sign or page held by a figure standing at a podium/lectern: "He's safe in Heaven, now."
Risk-assessment robot (a boxy machine with a single round green light/eye): I AM A RISK ASSESSMENT BOT. I DISCOVER YOUR LEVEL OF RISK-AVERSION, THEN USE THAT TO DIRECT YOUR FUTURE BEHAVIOR.
Panel 2:
Robot: WHAT BEHAVIORS DO YOU AVOID?
Man (orange-haired man in a green shirt): WELL, I DON'T LIKE AIR TRAVEL.
Man: THAT'S A ONE IN A MILLION CHANCE OF DEATH.
Panel 3:
Robot: YOU ARE NOW ENCASED IN PROTECTIVE FOAM. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY TO PROVIDE THE LEVEL OF SAFETY YOU EXPERIENCE ON A PASSENGER JET.
Panel 4:
(The man is shown engulfed in a spray of foam, looking distressed, as the robot sprays him.)
Panel 5:
(The man is now completely encased in a solid block/mound of foam, motionless. The robot stands beside it.)
Panel 6:
Robot: MISTER JOHNSON?
Panel 7 (caption: LATER...):
Newspaper-style banner / caption: HE ASPHYXIATED
A man in a lab coat holds a tablet and gestures toward the small robot.
Lab-coat man: BUT, THE PROBABILITY OF BEING KILLED BY RISK-ASSESSMENT ROBOT WAS ZERO.
Votey:
Hand-lettered text on a sign or page held by a figure standing at a podium/lectern: "He's safe in Heaven, now."
Alt text
A seven-panel comic about a risk-assessment robot. The robot, a boxy machine with a single round green eye, tells a man it discovers his level of risk-aversion to direct his future behavior. It asks what behaviors he avoids; the man, orange-haired in a green shirt, says he doesn't like air travel, which is a one-in-a-million chance of death. The robot declares the man is now encased in protective foam, the only way to provide the safety level he'd experience on a passenger jet. It sprays foam over him until he is completely entombed in a solid mound, motionless. The robot asks, "Mister Johnson?" Later, a caption reads "He asphyxiated," and a man in a lab coat, holding a tablet beside the small robot, says, "But, the probability of being killed by risk-assessment robot was zero." Votey: a figure stands at a podium beneath hand-lettered text reading "He's safe in Heaven, now."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.