smartphones
Original: smartphones on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A woman with glasses sits at a computer monitor, looking shocked.
Woman: OH MY GOD!
Panel 2: A computer screen displaying a headline.
Screen text: SCIENTIST: GIVING A CHILD A SMARTPHONE LIKE GIVING CHILD A GRAM OF COCAINE.
(click to become angrier)
Panel 3: Close-up of the same woman, now angry/agitated.
Panel 4: The woman cheerfully hands a smartphone/tablet to a small red-haired child.
Woman: HERE YOU GO, BILLY!
Panel 5: Header banner: FOURTEEN MINUTES LATER...
The child (Billy) stands holding a mop and a broom, beaming, surrounded by an energetic speech burst.
Billy: I DID MY HOMEWORK AND CLEANED THE HOUSE AND WASHED THE CAR AND I'M GONNA STAY UP ALL NIGHT RESEARCHING AIRPLANES!
Woman (giving a thumbs up, smiling): THANKS, SCIENCE!
Votey:
Close-up of the woman's face, looking droopy-eyed and exhausted.
Woman: I wonder if there's a device that's like ambien.
Woman: OH MY GOD!
Panel 2: A computer screen displaying a headline.
Screen text: SCIENTIST: GIVING A CHILD A SMARTPHONE LIKE GIVING CHILD A GRAM OF COCAINE.
(click to become angrier)
Panel 3: Close-up of the same woman, now angry/agitated.
Panel 4: The woman cheerfully hands a smartphone/tablet to a small red-haired child.
Woman: HERE YOU GO, BILLY!
Panel 5: Header banner: FOURTEEN MINUTES LATER...
The child (Billy) stands holding a mop and a broom, beaming, surrounded by an energetic speech burst.
Billy: I DID MY HOMEWORK AND CLEANED THE HOUSE AND WASHED THE CAR AND I'M GONNA STAY UP ALL NIGHT RESEARCHING AIRPLANES!
Woman (giving a thumbs up, smiling): THANKS, SCIENCE!
Votey:
Close-up of the woman's face, looking droopy-eyed and exhausted.
Woman: I wonder if there's a device that's like ambien.
Alt text
A five-panel SMBC comic. Panel 1: a woman in glasses at a computer shouts "OH MY GOD!" Panel 2: the screen reads "SCIENTIST: GIVING A CHILD A SMARTPHONE LIKE GIVING CHILD A GRAM OF COCAINE" with a small "(click to become angrier)" link. Panel 3: a close-up of the woman now looking furious. Panel 4: she cheerfully hands a smartphone to a little red-haired boy, saying "HERE YOU GO, BILLY!" Panel 5, labeled "FOURTEEN MINUTES LATER...": the boy stands clutching a mop and broom, wired and grinning, exclaiming "I DID MY HOMEWORK AND CLEANED THE HOUSE AND WASHED THE CAR AND I'M GONNA STAY UP ALL NIGHT RESEARCHING AIRPLANES!" The woman gives a thumbs up and says "THANKS, SCIENCE!" The joke: she treats the cocaine comparison as a feature, getting a hyper-productive, manic kid. Votey aftercomic: a close-up of the same woman, now droopy and exhausted, musing "I wonder if there's a device that's like ambien."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.