relax
Original: relax on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
A masked figure resembling a slasher-movie killer (white hockey mask, dark red long-sleeved shirt, green apron, gloves) holds a large machete and speaks to two people tied to chairs behind him.
Masked killer: "Relax. Statistically, the odds of being murdered by a serial killer are less than one in ten million."
(The two captives — a woman with red hair and glasses, and a man — are bound to chairs, looking uneasy.)
Votey:
The masked figure, now drawn in a loose sketch style with large black eyes, holds the knife and gestures with a slice of cake on a plate in front of him.
Masked figure: "I cut you some cake!"
A masked figure resembling a slasher-movie killer (white hockey mask, dark red long-sleeved shirt, green apron, gloves) holds a large machete and speaks to two people tied to chairs behind him.
Masked killer: "Relax. Statistically, the odds of being murdered by a serial killer are less than one in ten million."
(The two captives — a woman with red hair and glasses, and a man — are bound to chairs, looking uneasy.)
Votey:
The masked figure, now drawn in a loose sketch style with large black eyes, holds the knife and gestures with a slice of cake on a plate in front of him.
Masked figure: "I cut you some cake!"
Alt text
Main comic: A single panel showing a figure dressed like a slasher-movie serial killer — white hockey mask, dark red shirt, green apron, gloves — holding a large machete. Behind him, a red-haired woman with glasses and a man sit tied to chairs looking nervous. The masked killer reassures them in a speech bubble: "Relax. Statistically, the odds of being murdered by a serial killer are less than one in ten million." The joke is the absurd false comfort of citing statistics while actively being the threat.
Votey: The same masked figure, redrawn in a loose doodle style with big black eyes, holds the knife and presents a slice of cake on a plate, saying "I cut you some cake!" — revealing the menacing knife was for cake all along.
Votey: The same masked figure, redrawn in a loose doodle style with big black eyes, holds the knife and presents a slice of cake on a plate, saying "I cut you some cake!" — revealing the menacing knife was for cake all along.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.