about-to-diet
Original: about-to-diet on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Narration: A king offered a wise man one wish.
Wise man: I want a single grain of rice on the first square of this chessboard. Two on the next square, four on the third square, and so on.
Panel 2:
Narration: The king happily consented.
King: Only a little rice? It shall be done!
Panel 3:
Narration: By the 20th square, the king had realized the trick.
King: Dammit. This is why nobody likes wise men.
Panel 4:
Narration: The king's guards seized the wise man.
Wise man: What?! But I tricked a capricious monarch out of all his wealth! Everything should be going great for me!
Panel 5:
(The wise man, mouth open in shock/protest, gestures with his hands.)
Panel 6:
Narration: The wise man was put to death in the most mathematically insulting way possible.
King (arms crossed): You will be cut into a random spiral, which we will say is a Fibonacci spiral.
Wise man: NOOOOOO!
Panel 7:
A person (in shadow, addressing a professor): Professor, what's the moral of this story?
Professor: Stay away from applied mathematics.
Votey:
A face shown lying down/sideways, speaking.
Speaker: All of my bad choices are about fairness.
Narration: A king offered a wise man one wish.
Wise man: I want a single grain of rice on the first square of this chessboard. Two on the next square, four on the third square, and so on.
Panel 2:
Narration: The king happily consented.
King: Only a little rice? It shall be done!
Panel 3:
Narration: By the 20th square, the king had realized the trick.
King: Dammit. This is why nobody likes wise men.
Panel 4:
Narration: The king's guards seized the wise man.
Wise man: What?! But I tricked a capricious monarch out of all his wealth! Everything should be going great for me!
Panel 5:
(The wise man, mouth open in shock/protest, gestures with his hands.)
Panel 6:
Narration: The wise man was put to death in the most mathematically insulting way possible.
King (arms crossed): You will be cut into a random spiral, which we will say is a Fibonacci spiral.
Wise man: NOOOOOO!
Panel 7:
A person (in shadow, addressing a professor): Professor, what's the moral of this story?
Professor: Stay away from applied mathematics.
Votey:
A face shown lying down/sideways, speaking.
Speaker: All of my bad choices are about fairness.
Alt text
A seven-panel comic retelling the classic "grains of rice on a chessboard" story. Panel 1: a bearded wise man holding a chessboard tells a king, "I want a single grain of rice on the first square of this chessboard. Two on the next square, four on the third square, and so on." The caption reads: A king offered a wise man one wish. Panel 2: a smiling crowned king replies, "Only a little rice? It shall be done!" Caption: The king happily consented. Panel 3: the king, now annoyed, says, "Dammit. This is why nobody likes wise men." Caption: By the 20th square, the king had realized the trick. Panel 4: the wise man, alarmed, protests, "What?! But I tricked a capricious monarch out of all his wealth! Everything should be going great for me!" Caption: The king's guards seized the wise man. Panel 5: a close-up of the wise man's shocked, open-mouthed face. Panel 6: the king stands with arms crossed beside the panicking wise man and declares, "You will be cut into a random spiral, which we will say is a Fibonacci spiral." The wise man screams "NOOOOOO!" Caption: The wise man was put to death in the most mathematically insulting way possible. Panel 7: a lecture-hall scene with silhouetted listeners; a person asks, "Professor, what's the moral of this story?" and a walking professor answers, "Stay away from applied mathematics." Votey (bonus panel): a hand-drawn face lying sideways says, "All of my bad choices are about fairness."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.