a-meat-race
Original: a-meat-race on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Green alien: What do you mean, humans are a "meat-race"?
Panel 2:
Green alien: You were designed to be a delicacy on Zorblax-7.
Panel 3:
Green alien: Then why do we have consciousness? Or poetry? Or art, religion, music, mathematics?
Panel 4:
Man: Why did you get taller in the 19th century, fatter in the 20th century, and organic feed in the 21st century?
Panel 5:
Man: Becau... ah, shit.
Panel 6:
Green alien: Please don't cry. It'll ruin your salt ratio.
Votey:
Man (offscreen, speech from a character with flame-like hair): Oh! Or maybe it'll make a nice crust.
(A grinning, fanged alien face looms beside the speech bubble.)
Green alien: What do you mean, humans are a "meat-race"?
Panel 2:
Green alien: You were designed to be a delicacy on Zorblax-7.
Panel 3:
Green alien: Then why do we have consciousness? Or poetry? Or art, religion, music, mathematics?
Panel 4:
Man: Why did you get taller in the 19th century, fatter in the 20th century, and organic feed in the 21st century?
Panel 5:
Man: Becau... ah, shit.
Panel 6:
Green alien: Please don't cry. It'll ruin your salt ratio.
Votey:
Man (offscreen, speech from a character with flame-like hair): Oh! Or maybe it'll make a nice crust.
(A grinning, fanged alien face looms beside the speech bubble.)
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A green alien explains to a human man that humans were designed to be a delicacy on a planet called Zorblax-7, calling them a "meat-race." The man protests: then why do humans have consciousness, poetry, art, religion, music, and mathematics? The alien counters by asking why humans got taller in the 19th century, fatter in the 20th, and switched to organic feed in the 21st — implying these were all breeding choices made by their farmers. The man begins to answer, "Becau... ah, shit," realizing he has no rebuttal. The alien gently tells him, "Please don't cry. It'll ruin your salt ratio," treating his tears as a seasoning concern. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of a grinning alien with sharp fangs; a speech bubble reads, "Oh! Or maybe it'll make a nice crust," musing that the salty tears might actually improve the man's flavor when cooked.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.