the-scariest-possibility
Original: the-scariest-possibility on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1: A child in bed calls out.
Child: DAAAAD!
Panel 2: A man (the dad) opens the bedroom door.
Dad: WHAT IS IT, BILLY?!
Panel 3: The child speaks (caption/dialogue from the child's perspective).
Child: WHAT IF THE WORLD IS TOO COMPLICATED TO ASSIGN BLAME TO ANY PARTICULAR ACTOR, EVEN IN THE FACE OF GRIM CATASTROPHE?
Panel 4: The dad reassures.
Dad: DON'T WORRY! JUST CHECK OUT A NEWS SITE OR CONSULT A POPULAR SPIRITUAL ADVISOR. ALL PROBLEMS HAVE A SINGLE CAUSE THAT CAN BE DETERMINED ENTIRELY BY CONSULTING YOUR OWN GUT REACTION.
Panel 5: The child worries.
Child: BUT... I DUNNO... WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG? IT'D BE SCARY.
Panel 6: The dad answers, smiling confidently behind glasses.
Dad: THEN IT'S A GOOD THING THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN.
Votey:
Close-up of the dad's face, drawn loosely.
Dad: Just repeat after me: there's no such thing as social media.
Child: DAAAAD!
Panel 2: A man (the dad) opens the bedroom door.
Dad: WHAT IS IT, BILLY?!
Panel 3: The child speaks (caption/dialogue from the child's perspective).
Child: WHAT IF THE WORLD IS TOO COMPLICATED TO ASSIGN BLAME TO ANY PARTICULAR ACTOR, EVEN IN THE FACE OF GRIM CATASTROPHE?
Panel 4: The dad reassures.
Dad: DON'T WORRY! JUST CHECK OUT A NEWS SITE OR CONSULT A POPULAR SPIRITUAL ADVISOR. ALL PROBLEMS HAVE A SINGLE CAUSE THAT CAN BE DETERMINED ENTIRELY BY CONSULTING YOUR OWN GUT REACTION.
Panel 5: The child worries.
Child: BUT... I DUNNO... WHAT IF YOU'RE WRONG? IT'D BE SCARY.
Panel 6: The dad answers, smiling confidently behind glasses.
Dad: THEN IT'S A GOOD THING THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN.
Votey:
Close-up of the dad's face, drawn loosely.
Dad: Just repeat after me: there's no such thing as social media.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A child in bed yells "DAAAAD!" The father opens the bedroom door asking "What is it, Billy?!" The child asks: "What if the world is too complicated to assign blame to any particular actor, even in the face of grim catastrophe?" The dad reassures him: "Don't worry! Just check out a news site or consult a popular spiritual advisor. All problems have a single cause that can be determined entirely by consulting your own gut reaction." The child, uneasy, says "But... I dunno... what if you're wrong? It'd be scary." The dad, smiling smugly behind glasses, replies: "Then it's a good thing that'll never happen." The joke skewers the comforting certainty of blaming complex events on simple, gut-felt causes. Votey (aftercomic): a loose close-up of the dad's face as he says, "Just repeat after me: there's no such thing as social media."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.