self-destructive-beverages
Original: self-destructive-beverages on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Title banner: SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEVERAGE SELECTION: A GUIDE
The comic is a single-panel scatter-plot chart. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "HATRED FOR OTHERS" and the horizontal (x) axis is labeled "HATRED FOR SELF". Various alcoholic beverages are plotted as labeled dots.
Plotted beverages (approximate positions):
- Gin (high hatred for others, very low hatred for self)
- Vodka in a plastic jug (high hatred for others, very high hatred for self)
- Vodka (upper-middle, moderate-high hatred for self)
- Rum featuring a pirate (upper-middle-right)
- Brandy (high hatred for others, low hatred for self)
- Rum (middle)
- Box-wine (middle-right)
- Champagne (middle-left, low hatred for self)
- Box-beer (lower-right)
- Box-Ethanol (lower-right, high hatred for self)
- Whiskey (low, low hatred for self)
- Wine (lower-left)
- Beer (bottom-left)
- Tequila (bottom, low hatred for self)
- Cider (bottom)
- Malt Liquor (bottom-middle)
- Wine Cooler (bottom-middle-right)
- Rubbing Alcohol (lower-right, very high hatred for self)
- Appletini (bottom-right, very high hatred for self)
Votey:
A man with a sad, slightly cross-eyed expression says: "Clear liquors pair well with despair."
The comic is a single-panel scatter-plot chart. The vertical (y) axis is labeled "HATRED FOR OTHERS" and the horizontal (x) axis is labeled "HATRED FOR SELF". Various alcoholic beverages are plotted as labeled dots.
Plotted beverages (approximate positions):
- Gin (high hatred for others, very low hatred for self)
- Vodka in a plastic jug (high hatred for others, very high hatred for self)
- Vodka (upper-middle, moderate-high hatred for self)
- Rum featuring a pirate (upper-middle-right)
- Brandy (high hatred for others, low hatred for self)
- Rum (middle)
- Box-wine (middle-right)
- Champagne (middle-left, low hatred for self)
- Box-beer (lower-right)
- Box-Ethanol (lower-right, high hatred for self)
- Whiskey (low, low hatred for self)
- Wine (lower-left)
- Beer (bottom-left)
- Tequila (bottom, low hatred for self)
- Cider (bottom)
- Malt Liquor (bottom-middle)
- Wine Cooler (bottom-middle-right)
- Rubbing Alcohol (lower-right, very high hatred for self)
- Appletini (bottom-right, very high hatred for self)
Votey:
A man with a sad, slightly cross-eyed expression says: "Clear liquors pair well with despair."
Alt text
A single-panel SMBC comic titled "SELF-DESTRUCTIVE BEVERAGE SELECTION: A GUIDE." It is a hand-drawn scatter-plot chart. The vertical axis reads "HATRED FOR OTHERS" and the horizontal axis reads "HATRED FOR SELF." Alcoholic drinks are plotted as labeled dots. High on the others-hatred axis but low on self-hatred: Gin, Brandy. High on both axes (top right): "Vodka in a plastic jug," Vodka, and "Rum featuring a pirate." Middle of the chart: Rum, Box-wine, Champagne. Low and to the left (low self-hatred): Whiskey, Wine, Beer, Tequila, Cider. Low and far to the right (high self-hatred, low others-hatred): Malt Liquor, Wine Cooler, Box-beer, Box-Ethanol, Rubbing Alcohol, and Appletini. The joke is that the more degrading the drink, the higher the self-hatred. In the votey aftercomic, a glum, slightly cross-eyed man says, "Clear liquors pair well with despair."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.