transcendence
Original: transcendence on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Young man (student): "Was master, how can I achieve real spiritual transcendence?"
Bearded master (guru): "Magnets!"
Panel 2:
Student: "I was just reading about this online. They put these magnetic fields in a certain region of your brain and bam! Big spiritual experience."
Master: "But... is that you know, real transcendence?"
Student: "Totally!"
Panel 3:
Student: "Only problem is it's expensive. Like super expensive. If you want a personal one, you're gonna need big money maybe a career in finance or real estate."
Master: "I think you can get one as a rent-to-own. That way you get a whole year of total cosmic oneness before you have to pay anything."
Panel 4:
Student: "Oh, that's fine. Sure, the magnets let anyone have a spiritual experience with no money down. But god forbid it doesn't feel 'real,' so the poor American who can't afford the right magnets is left to wander in the mountains, doing nothing but 'finding himself.'"
Panel 5:
Master: "Well, what work do you do to justify your lifestyle?"
Student: "I'll answer that in a moment, but first a word from our sponsor: Fruit of the Loom!"
Votey:
The master, eyes closed in serene meditation:
"Actually, this is all a helmet-induced hallucination."
Young man (student): "Was master, how can I achieve real spiritual transcendence?"
Bearded master (guru): "Magnets!"
Panel 2:
Student: "I was just reading about this online. They put these magnetic fields in a certain region of your brain and bam! Big spiritual experience."
Master: "But... is that you know, real transcendence?"
Student: "Totally!"
Panel 3:
Student: "Only problem is it's expensive. Like super expensive. If you want a personal one, you're gonna need big money maybe a career in finance or real estate."
Master: "I think you can get one as a rent-to-own. That way you get a whole year of total cosmic oneness before you have to pay anything."
Panel 4:
Student: "Oh, that's fine. Sure, the magnets let anyone have a spiritual experience with no money down. But god forbid it doesn't feel 'real,' so the poor American who can't afford the right magnets is left to wander in the mountains, doing nothing but 'finding himself.'"
Panel 5:
Master: "Well, what work do you do to justify your lifestyle?"
Student: "I'll answer that in a moment, but first a word from our sponsor: Fruit of the Loom!"
Votey:
The master, eyes closed in serene meditation:
"Actually, this is all a helmet-induced hallucination."
Alt text
A five-panel black-and-white SMBC comic. A young man in modern clothes kneels before a robed, bearded guru on a mountain. The student asks how to achieve real spiritual transcendence; the master answers "Magnets!" The student enthusiastically explains a startup-style pitch: magnetic fields applied to a region of the brain produce an instant, "totally real" spiritual experience, but a personal device is hugely expensive, requiring a career in finance or real estate, though rent-to-own gets you a year of cosmic oneness before paying. He then frets that the poor American who can't afford the right magnets is left wandering the mountains "finding himself." When the master asks what work justifies the student's own lifestyle, the student dodges: "I'll answer that in a moment, but first a word from our sponsor: Fruit of the Loom!" -- skewering monetized, commodified enlightenment. Votey: a close-up of the meditating master with eyes closed, calmly saying, "Actually, this is all a helmet-induced hallucination."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.