exegesis
Original: exegesis on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1
Woman (praying, eyes closed): Dear Lord...
God (yellow speech bubble on a long tendril/line from off-panel): Yes, my child?
Panel 2
Woman: When Barak was pursuing Sisera's routed army to Harosheth, and Jael took Sisera into her tent, why did she feed him and comfort him, then kill him violently.
Panel 3
God (yellow bubble): Christ, that's obscure. What book was that? Was it one of the weird ones?
Woman: Book of Judges.
Panel 4
God (yellow bubble): Okay, well, I dunno. I guess maybe she was a mean lady? And you shouldn't be mean to people?
Panel 5
Woman: Like it's a cautionary tale?
God (yellow bubble): Sure, yeah.
Panel 6
Woman: But nothing bad happens to her, and then there's a song verse about how great she is for killing him, and then there's forty years of peace.
Panel 7
God (yellow bubble): Actually, that whole section... that's not supposed to be taken literally.
Woman: But it's written like history. How can you derive a moral from it?
Panel 8
God (yellow bubble): It's a myyyysteryyyy. wooooooooooooooh!
Woman (now looking annoyed/angry): I'm gonna go worship Moloch.
Votey:
A simple line drawing of two cookies. One whole round cookie on the right; on the left, a cracked/broken cookie half with text on it reading "Yer mean!"
Woman (praying, eyes closed): Dear Lord...
God (yellow speech bubble on a long tendril/line from off-panel): Yes, my child?
Panel 2
Woman: When Barak was pursuing Sisera's routed army to Harosheth, and Jael took Sisera into her tent, why did she feed him and comfort him, then kill him violently.
Panel 3
God (yellow bubble): Christ, that's obscure. What book was that? Was it one of the weird ones?
Woman: Book of Judges.
Panel 4
God (yellow bubble): Okay, well, I dunno. I guess maybe she was a mean lady? And you shouldn't be mean to people?
Panel 5
Woman: Like it's a cautionary tale?
God (yellow bubble): Sure, yeah.
Panel 6
Woman: But nothing bad happens to her, and then there's a song verse about how great she is for killing him, and then there's forty years of peace.
Panel 7
God (yellow bubble): Actually, that whole section... that's not supposed to be taken literally.
Woman: But it's written like history. How can you derive a moral from it?
Panel 8
God (yellow bubble): It's a myyyysteryyyy. wooooooooooooooh!
Woman (now looking annoyed/angry): I'm gonna go worship Moloch.
Votey:
A simple line drawing of two cookies. One whole round cookie on the right; on the left, a cracked/broken cookie half with text on it reading "Yer mean!"
Alt text
An eight-panel SMBC comic. A red-haired woman kneels with eyes closed and prays, 'Dear Lord...' God answers in a yellow speech bubble attached to a long line from off-panel: 'Yes, my child?' She asks a detailed biblical question: when Barak pursued Sisera's army and Jael took Sisera into her tent, why did Jael feed and comfort him, then kill him violently. God: 'Christ, that's obscure. What book was that? Was it one of the weird ones?' She replies, 'Book of Judges.' God guesses, 'Okay, well, I dunno. I guess maybe she was a mean lady? And you shouldn't be mean to people?' Woman: 'Like it's a cautionary tale?' God: 'Sure, yeah.' Woman pushes back: 'But nothing bad happens to her, and then there's a song verse about how great she is for killing him, and then there's forty years of peace.' God backpedals: 'Actually, that whole section... that's not supposed to be taken literally.' Woman: 'But it's written like history. How can you derive a moral from it?' God dodges, waving spookily: 'It's a myyyysteryyyy. wooooooh!' The now-annoyed woman declares: 'I'm gonna go worship Moloch.' Votey aftercomic: a plain line drawing of two cookies, a whole round one and a broken cracked one labeled 'Yer mean!' (one cookie calling the other mean / a broken cookie complaining).
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.