what-if-i-never-existed
Original: what-if-i-never-existed on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with orange hair: Do you ever worry the world would be better off if you never existed?
Woman with dark hair: Let's make that question more general.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair: "If a random individual never existed, would the world be better or worse?"
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: That's pretty clearly a 50-50 proposition.
Panel 4:
Woman with dark hair: Unless there's some reason you don't count as a statistically random individual, then your question practically answers itself.
Panel 5:
Woman with orange hair: I was OBVIOUSLY asking for sympathy in a moment of self-doubt.
Woman with dark hair: Well, you asked in a dumb way.
Votey:
The dark-haired woman, looking flat/unimpressed, in a speech bubble: Also, your hair sucks
Woman with orange hair: Do you ever worry the world would be better off if you never existed?
Woman with dark hair: Let's make that question more general.
Panel 2:
Woman with dark hair: "If a random individual never existed, would the world be better or worse?"
Panel 3:
Woman with dark hair: That's pretty clearly a 50-50 proposition.
Panel 4:
Woman with dark hair: Unless there's some reason you don't count as a statistically random individual, then your question practically answers itself.
Panel 5:
Woman with orange hair: I was OBVIOUSLY asking for sympathy in a moment of self-doubt.
Woman with dark hair: Well, you asked in a dumb way.
Votey:
The dark-haired woman, looking flat/unimpressed, in a speech bubble: Also, your hair sucks
Alt text
A five-panel webcomic. An orange-haired woman asks her dark-haired friend, "Do you ever worry the world would be better off if you never existed?" The dark-haired woman responds analytically instead of sympathetically: "Let's make that question more general." She reframes it as, "'If a random individual never existed, would the world be better or worse?'" and declares, "That's pretty clearly a 50-50 proposition," then adds, "Unless there's some reason you don't count as a statistically random individual, then your question practically answers itself." In the final panel, shown as two tiny figures in a vast snowy landscape, the orange-haired woman says, "I was OBVIOUSLY asking for sympathy in a moment of self-doubt," and the dark-haired woman replies, "Well, you asked in a dumb way." Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the dark-haired woman's deadpan face as she adds, "Also, your hair sucks."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.