adam39s-rib
Original: adam39s-rib on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Child: Did God really use Adam's rib to create women?
Bald man with mustache: Yes.
Panel 2:
Bald man: That's why women are largely bone, despite their apparently soft exteriors.
Panel 3:
Bald man: You know how I told you to never strike a woman? It's because your hand would shatter.
Child: My God.
Panel 4:
Bald man: That's why war has become less common since women entered the military. Everyone is petrified of armies of invincible bone-people.
Panel 5:
Bald man: Women are practically unstoppable in combat. Men need concealed armaments just to feel safe. That's why women's pants don't have pockets. To level the playing field.
Panel 6:
Child: I should start flossing every night, like mom says.
Bald man (angry): You haven't been doing that?! You've endangered us all!
Votey:
White hand-lettered text on a black background beside a close-up of the bald man's weary face with eyes closed: "Kill the boy."
Child: Did God really use Adam's rib to create women?
Bald man with mustache: Yes.
Panel 2:
Bald man: That's why women are largely bone, despite their apparently soft exteriors.
Panel 3:
Bald man: You know how I told you to never strike a woman? It's because your hand would shatter.
Child: My God.
Panel 4:
Bald man: That's why war has become less common since women entered the military. Everyone is petrified of armies of invincible bone-people.
Panel 5:
Bald man: Women are practically unstoppable in combat. Men need concealed armaments just to feel safe. That's why women's pants don't have pockets. To level the playing field.
Panel 6:
Child: I should start flossing every night, like mom says.
Bald man (angry): You haven't been doing that?! You've endangered us all!
Votey:
White hand-lettered text on a black background beside a close-up of the bald man's weary face with eyes closed: "Kill the boy."
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A bald, mustached man earnestly explains pseudo-science to a small child. Panel 1: The child asks if God really used Adam's rib to make women; the man says "Yes." Panel 2: He claims that's why women are largely bone despite their soft exteriors. Panel 3: He says the reason you should never strike a woman is that your hand would shatter; the child responds "My God." Panel 4: He says war has declined since women joined the military because everyone fears armies of invincible bone-people. Panel 5: He says women are unstoppable in combat and men need concealed weapons to feel safe, which is why women's pants lack pockets, to level the playing field. Panel 6: The child innocently says he should start flossing every night like mom says; the man, suddenly furious, shouts "You haven't been doing that?! You've endangered us all!" Votey (aftercomic): A close-up of the man's tired, eyes-closed face on a black background with the hand-lettered words "Kill the boy."
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.