real-parenting
Original: real-parenting on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with black hair: So, my daughter was playing a video game and-
Woman with red hair (interrupting): You let her play a VIDEO GAME?! That's not REAL PARENTING!
Panel 2:
Woman with black hair: We also read books and play games and we go outside.
Woman with red hair: NOPE. None of that stuff is real parenting.
Panel 3:
Woman with black hair: But... but...
Panel 4:
Woman with red hair: 'Real parenting' is when you have an interaction with your child, during which at least one of you is actively suffering.
Panel 5:
Woman with red hair: It's all in this handy chart!
Panel 6 (a 2x2 chart, handwritten):
Column headers: 'Child happy' | 'Child sad'
Row 'Parent happy': 'Bad Parenting' | 'Real Parenting'
Row 'Parent sad': 'Real Parenting' | 'A+ Parenting'
Panel 7:
Woman with black hair (holding the chart): Why is this written in crayon?
Woman with red hair: My daughter HATED making it.
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired woman's smiling face.
Caption: She will be my most accomplished enemy.
Woman with black hair: So, my daughter was playing a video game and-
Woman with red hair (interrupting): You let her play a VIDEO GAME?! That's not REAL PARENTING!
Panel 2:
Woman with black hair: We also read books and play games and we go outside.
Woman with red hair: NOPE. None of that stuff is real parenting.
Panel 3:
Woman with black hair: But... but...
Panel 4:
Woman with red hair: 'Real parenting' is when you have an interaction with your child, during which at least one of you is actively suffering.
Panel 5:
Woman with red hair: It's all in this handy chart!
Panel 6 (a 2x2 chart, handwritten):
Column headers: 'Child happy' | 'Child sad'
Row 'Parent happy': 'Bad Parenting' | 'Real Parenting'
Row 'Parent sad': 'Real Parenting' | 'A+ Parenting'
Panel 7:
Woman with black hair (holding the chart): Why is this written in crayon?
Woman with red hair: My daughter HATED making it.
Votey:
Close-up of the red-haired woman's smiling face.
Caption: She will be my most accomplished enemy.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic. A woman with red hair scolds a woman with black hair, insisting that letting her daughter play a video game (or read books, play games, or go outside) is 'not REAL PARENTING.' As the black-haired woman stammers, the red-haired woman explains: 'Real parenting' is when you have an interaction with your child during which at least one of you is actively suffering. She presents a handwritten 2x2 chart. Its columns are 'Child happy' and 'Child sad'; its rows are 'Parent happy' and 'Parent sad.' Parent happy + Child happy is labeled 'Bad Parenting'; Parent happy + Child sad and Parent sad + Child happy are both 'Real Parenting'; and Parent sad + Child sad is 'A+ Parenting.' In the final panel the black-haired woman, holding the chart, asks, 'Why is this written in crayon?' The red-haired woman, grinning, replies, 'My daughter HATED making it.' The votey (aftercomic) shows a close-up of the red-haired woman's contented smiling face with the caption: 'She will be my most accomplished enemy.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.