a-test
Original: a-test on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Lighter-skinned man (employer/manager): We just need you to pee in this cup and the job's yours.
Darker-skinned man (employee/applicant): No. There is no test.
Panel 2:
Employer: No test? It's a drug test. Gotcha.
Panel 3:
Employee: Then what's it for?
Employer: The sense of power I get from knowing that I can control your most basic biological function.
Panel 4:
Employee: But...
Employer: Listen, you were willing to pee in a cup when it was for a drug test from your prospective employer. The physical act will be the same.
Panel 5:
Employee: It's not the same! Now I'm gonna be thinking about why I'm peeing in the cup!
Employer: The mind is the body. Words have meaning. When you change the significance of the act, you change what the act demands.
Panel 6 (silhouettes of the two men):
Employee: I'm a human being!
Employer: I will raise your pay 25 cents per hour.
Employer: Gimme the cup.
Votey:
A simply-drawn man with a wide-eyed, resigned expression. A speech bubble reads: You are so lucky to have a job.
Lighter-skinned man (employer/manager): We just need you to pee in this cup and the job's yours.
Darker-skinned man (employee/applicant): No. There is no test.
Panel 2:
Employer: No test? It's a drug test. Gotcha.
Panel 3:
Employee: Then what's it for?
Employer: The sense of power I get from knowing that I can control your most basic biological function.
Panel 4:
Employee: But...
Employer: Listen, you were willing to pee in a cup when it was for a drug test from your prospective employer. The physical act will be the same.
Panel 5:
Employee: It's not the same! Now I'm gonna be thinking about why I'm peeing in the cup!
Employer: The mind is the body. Words have meaning. When you change the significance of the act, you change what the act demands.
Panel 6 (silhouettes of the two men):
Employee: I'm a human being!
Employer: I will raise your pay 25 cents per hour.
Employer: Gimme the cup.
Votey:
A simply-drawn man with a wide-eyed, resigned expression. A speech bubble reads: You are so lucky to have a job.
Alt text
A six-panel comic. A lighter-skinned employer tells a darker-skinned job applicant, 'We just need you to pee in this cup and the job's yours.' The applicant says 'No,' insisting there is no test. The employer says it's a drug test ('Gotcha'), but when pressed admits the cup is really for 'the sense of power I get from knowing that I can control your most basic biological function.' When the applicant objects, the employer argues the physical act is identical to a normal drug test, since he was already willing to pee in a cup for a prospective employer. The applicant protests that now he'll be thinking about WHY he's peeing in the cup; the employer counters that the mind is the body and changing the act's meaning changes what it demands. In the final panel, shown as black silhouettes, the applicant cries 'I'm a human being!' The employer offers to raise his pay 25 cents per hour and says, 'Gimme the cup,' and the man complies. Votey: a roughly drawn, wide-eyed, deflated-looking man with a speech bubble saying, 'You are so lucky to have a job.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.