epictetus
Original: epictetus on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Student (younger man): When something sad happens?
Epictetus (bearded older man): Nothing IS sad.
Panel 2:
Epictetus: You can't control your circumstances, but you CAN control your impression of it.
Panel 3:
Epictetus: For instance, one time I was told my discourses were too informal. My impression was that I was loving sex with Venus and Helen of Troy at the same time.
Panel 4:
Epictetus: Helen of Troy was into some freaky business, let me tell you.
Panel 5:
Epictetus: Another time, when I was exiled from Rome, I had the impression that I was having sex with Venus and Helen of Troy at the same time.
Panel 6:
Student: I think Helen has some issues she's working out, and that's FINISHING by Epictetus.
Panel 7:
Epictetus: I'm not convinced this is a coherent philosophy.
Student: OH, BE GENTLE LADIES! I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
Votey:
Handwritten text: This is exactly how Stoicism works.
Student (younger man): When something sad happens?
Epictetus (bearded older man): Nothing IS sad.
Panel 2:
Epictetus: You can't control your circumstances, but you CAN control your impression of it.
Panel 3:
Epictetus: For instance, one time I was told my discourses were too informal. My impression was that I was loving sex with Venus and Helen of Troy at the same time.
Panel 4:
Epictetus: Helen of Troy was into some freaky business, let me tell you.
Panel 5:
Epictetus: Another time, when I was exiled from Rome, I had the impression that I was having sex with Venus and Helen of Troy at the same time.
Panel 6:
Student: I think Helen has some issues she's working out, and that's FINISHING by Epictetus.
Panel 7:
Epictetus: I'm not convinced this is a coherent philosophy.
Student: OH, BE GENTLE LADIES! I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
Votey:
Handwritten text: This is exactly how Stoicism works.
Alt text
A seven-panel SMBC comic depicting Epictetus, a robed, bearded ancient philosopher, explaining Stoicism to a younger student. The student asks what to do when something sad happens; Epictetus replies that nothing is sad, and that while you can't control your circumstances, you can control your impression of them. As proof, he describes that when told his discourses were too informal, his 'impression' was that he was having sex with Venus and Helen of Troy at the same time, adding that Helen was into some freaky business. He claims he had the same impression when he was exiled from Rome. The student, deadpan, says he thinks Helen has some issues she's working out, and that this is the philosophical work 'Finishing' by Epictetus. Epictetus says he's not convinced this is a coherent philosophy while the student blurts 'Oh, be gentle, ladies! I've never done that before.' The joke is that 'controlling your impression' has collapsed into both characters just hallucinating sex with mythological women. The votey aftercomic is a single hand-lettered panel reading 'This is exactly how Stoicism works.'
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.