beowulf
Original: beowulf on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman with reddish-brown hair: I HATE WHEN THEY DO BEOWULF REMAKES! THEY JUST CHANGE EVERYTHING! IT'S POINTLESS.
Dark-haired woman: OKAY, BUT IMAGINE IF THEY'D ACTUALLY BEEN FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL.
Panel 2:
An old, bearded king lying on a pile of gold: BEFORE I DIE... ONE LAST TIME... LET ME SEE MY GIANT PILE OF GOLD!
Panel 3:
The old king, smiling contentedly: SO FULFILLING.
Votey:
The old bearded king, smiling: SO GLAD I TOOK UP KILLING
Woman with reddish-brown hair: I HATE WHEN THEY DO BEOWULF REMAKES! THEY JUST CHANGE EVERYTHING! IT'S POINTLESS.
Dark-haired woman: OKAY, BUT IMAGINE IF THEY'D ACTUALLY BEEN FAITHFUL TO THE ORIGINAL.
Panel 2:
An old, bearded king lying on a pile of gold: BEFORE I DIE... ONE LAST TIME... LET ME SEE MY GIANT PILE OF GOLD!
Panel 3:
The old king, smiling contentedly: SO FULFILLING.
Votey:
The old bearded king, smiling: SO GLAD I TOOK UP KILLING
Alt text
Three-panel comic. Panel 1: Two women talk. One with reddish-brown hair complains, "I hate when they do Beowulf remakes! They just change everything! It's pointless." The dark-haired woman replies, "Okay, but imagine if they'd actually been faithful to the original." Panel 2: An old bearded king lies draped over a massive pile of gold, saying, "Before I die... one last time... let me see my giant pile of gold!" Panel 3: The king smiles in blissful contentment, saying, "So fulfilling." The joke: a truly faithful Beowulf adaptation would lovingly depict the dragon's miserly gold-hoarding rather than the heroics. Votey: A close-up of the same smiling old king, who says, "So glad I took up killing," leaning into the gleeful greed and violence of an authentic adaptation.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.