the-golem
Original: the-golem on Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Transcript
Panel 1:
Woman: I know you've been sad about your breakup. So I used ancient Hebraic magic to create a golem!
Man: Hey pal! How are you? Let's watch movies "together!"
Golem: Neat!
Panel 2 (the golem, made of stacked love letters):
Panel 3:
Golem: Wait... what's he made from?
Woman: Love letters from a girl you threw away. I didn't want these going to waste.
Panel 4:
Golem: There were so many!
Panel 5:
Golem: Well, it's not like love letters by the ton are gonna mean anything. We were going to the breakup either way. It's obvious those things are unfair and unreliable. But you don't realize it.
Panel 6:
Woman: We had to use a lot because they were so short.
Panel 7:
Golem: And my legs were built from the scrapbook you made after your trip to Paris.
Woman (or man): Wait... is she smirking in every photo?
Votey:
Golem: Maybe now he'll love me.
Woman: I know you've been sad about your breakup. So I used ancient Hebraic magic to create a golem!
Man: Hey pal! How are you? Let's watch movies "together!"
Golem: Neat!
Panel 2 (the golem, made of stacked love letters):
Panel 3:
Golem: Wait... what's he made from?
Woman: Love letters from a girl you threw away. I didn't want these going to waste.
Panel 4:
Golem: There were so many!
Panel 5:
Golem: Well, it's not like love letters by the ton are gonna mean anything. We were going to the breakup either way. It's obvious those things are unfair and unreliable. But you don't realize it.
Panel 6:
Woman: We had to use a lot because they were so short.
Panel 7:
Golem: And my legs were built from the scrapbook you made after your trip to Paris.
Woman (or man): Wait... is she smirking in every photo?
Votey:
Golem: Maybe now he'll love me.
Alt text
A black-and-white SMBC comic in red-tinted panels. A woman tells a man she made him a golem out of ancient Hebraic magic to cheer him up after his breakup; the man greets the golem and offers to watch movies together, and the golem says "Neat!" The golem is depicted as a lumpy humanoid figure constructed entirely of stacked and crumpled papers. The golem asks what it's made from; the woman explains it's built from love letters from a girl he threw away, which she didn't want to waste. The golem remarks there were so many, then launches into a defensive monologue insisting that love letters by the ton don't mean anything and the relationship was doomed anyway. The woman notes they needed a lot of letters because they were so short. The golem adds that its legs were built from the scrapbook he made after a trip to Paris, prompting someone to ask whether the girl is smirking in every photo. Votey (aftercomic): a close-up of the golem's smiling face saying "Maybe now he'll love me" — revealing the golem itself is the spurned ex, now reconstituted from her own discarded letters and hoping to finally win him over.
Transcribed by Claude Opus 4.8.